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| This bloke is pacing up and down at home while his wife is in hospital giving birth. The phone rings and the bloke answers. "This is the hospital, sir, your wife has given birth to twins. However, there are more on the way." The bloke puts the phone down and takes a large swig of vodka. The phone rings again. "This is the hospital, your wife has had another little boy, and there are still more on the way." The bloke drinks the whole bottle of vodka - by now he is totally wankered. He picks up the phone to ring the hospital to find out if she's had any more babies but, by mistake, he rings lords cricket ground. When the phone is answered, he asks, "what's the latest?" And the person on the line says, "97 all out, and the last one was a duck!" |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Baby - Tagged hospital , vodka , cricket , duck , twins , birth - Current Score: 140 - Added: 4 months ago
| What's the difference between a cricket ball and an Abo chick's pussy? If you tried really hard, you could eat a cricket ball. | |
Joke by drnano, in Religion and racism > Aborigines - Tagged cricket , abo , pussy - Current Score: 72 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Nazi concentration camp commandant calls an Englishman, Australian and a Jew into his office. "Ve are going to have a cricket match." He turns to the Englishman: "You vill be ze capitan of ze English team" He turns to the Aussie: "You vill be ze capitan of ze Australian team" "What's my part in this then?" asks the Jew "You vill be ze ashes" | |
Joke by oldskooliain, in Religion and racism > Holocaust - Tagged the ashes , cricket , jew - Current Score: 64 - Added: 11 months ago
| A guy goes to the doctor and says 'I've got a cricket ball stuck up my arse'. The doctor says 'How's that?', and the guy replies 'Don't you fucking start'. | |
Joke by cc1957, in Jokes with no home > Sports - Tagged cricket , doctor - Current Score: 59 - Added: 10 months ago
| Michelle Williams has been offered the position of England Cricket coach. The ECC believed that her experience of fucking Australians and bringing home the ashes would be a great asset | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged heath ledger , michelle williams , widow , cricket , aussies , australians - Current Score: 48 - Added: 9 months, 30 days ago
| Having done so badly in the Cricket World Cup the Pakistan Cricket team are taking up a new sport... Bob Sleighing. | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Celebrity and news events > Bob Woolmer - Pakistan Cricket team - Tagged cricket , bob woolmer , pakistan cricket team - Current Score: 36 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| It has emerged that Paula Yates was being considered for the position of England Cricket coach at the time of her death. The English Cricket Board believed that her experience of fucking Australians and bringing home the ashes would be invaluable. | |
Joke by chelsea_steve, in Celebrity and news events > Celeb Death - Tagged paula yates , michael hutchence , cricket , ashes , england , australia - Current Score: 26 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| We are the most successful team at the Paralympics! So, look at it this way... our Football Team, Rugby Team, Cricket Team and Tennis Players may be shite; but our Mongs are the best in the world... doesn't it make you proud to be British? | |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Celebrity and news events > Paralympics - Tagged mongs , football , rugby , tennis , cricket , sport , british , spazzs - Current Score: 25 - Added: 2 months ago
| During a rain delayed cricket match, the announcer used the time to share some cricket trivia with his co-presenter. "You know who hit the most sixes between 1975 and 1985 ?. None other than Ian Botham". "You know who took the most wickets between 1975 and 1985 ?. Also Ian Botham". "And who got hit on the chin with the most balls between 1975 and 1985 ?". "Was it Ian Botham ?" asked the fellow presenter. "Nope, it was Michael Barrymore". | |
Joke by bicycle day, in Celebrity and news events > Michael Barrymore - Tagged michael barrymore , cricket , balls - Current Score: 17 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Why is Sir Paul so bad at cricket? He's always getting fucked by the stumps.... | |
Joke by kermithebastard, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged paul mccartney , cricket , stumps - Current Score: 10 - Added: 8 months ago
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