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| Christmas is shit. Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross. |    |
Joke by hacienda88, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged christmas , cross , jesus , nailed , xmas - Current Score: 202 - Added: 9 months ago
| What did Jesus say to his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross? "Don't touch my fucking Easter eggs, I'll be back on Monday." | |
Joke by stopher, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged jesus , eggs , cross , monday - Current Score: 132 - Added: 5 months ago
| Murphy decided to open up his own D.I.Y store called "Murphy's Nails". It started off fairly well but he decided it could do with some advertisiment so he rang his mate Pat who was a media advertiser to make a T.V. advert for him which Pat agreed and said it would air on Friday. Murphy got all excited and invited all his friends and family round to watch it. The advert began with the camera at the bottom of the hill and it gradually panned up to the top to show Jesus on the cross and the tagline "They used Murphy's Nails" appeared. Murphy was horrified and his friends and family were disgusted, so immediatley he rang his mate Pat and screamed down the phone at him "What's this, that's not the way to sell my product, people are gonna get the wrong message". Pat replied, "Aye, I can see you're problem, i'm sorry pal, i'll change it and it'll re-air next Friday. So next Friday comes round and Murphy nervously invites all his friends and family back to watch the advert that should've appeared. As the advert comes on it again starts the same way with the camera at the bottom of the hill, it gradually pans up to the top of the hill to show the same cross, however it's empty, and in the distance Jesus can be seen legging it and up comes the tagline "They Should've Used Murphy's Nails". | |
Joke by ravage monster, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged cross , irish , advertising - Current Score: 92 - Added: 6 months ago
| How do you make a bear cross? Nail two of them together. | |
Joke by Chuckie F, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged cross , bear , together - Current Score: 18 - Added: 4 months ago
| I was about to cross a road when this really fat old woman screamed at me from the other side, "please, young man, can you see me across the road?" I shouted back, "I could see you a fucking hundred yards back!" | |
Joke by justincider, in Jokes with no home > Fat People - Tagged old , woman , cross , road - Current Score: 18 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Why did the chav cross the road? To start a fight with a complete stranger for absolutely no reason. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Jehovahs Witness - Tagged chav , road , why , cross - Current Score: 17 - Added: 7 months ago
| A man was trying to cross a busy road with no luck. After about 15 minutes another man walked past him and said, "Why don't you try round the corner, there's a pelican crossing." The first man replied, "Well I hope he's having more fucking luck than me." | |
Joke by stopher, in Jokes with no home > Not Sure - Tagged man , pelican , cross - Current Score: 7 - Added: 8 months ago
| Scientists have discovered that many men in the UK have penises measuring 3 inches or less. To help solve this problem, they have asked them to identify themselves by flying a white flag with a red cross from their cars. | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Religion and racism > English - Tagged english , flag , red , cross - Current Score: 6 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Why did the woman cross the road? More to the point why the fuck is she out of the kitchen?! | |
Joke by guitar678, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged woman , slag , road , cross , female - Current Score: 5 - Added: 5 months ago
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