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| I have a dream: a dream that, one day, chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned. |    |
Joke by mafiaboy22, in Jokes with no home > Not Sick - Tagged chickens , cross , road , not sick - Current Score: 1031 - Added: 1 month ago
| Christmas is shit. Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross. | |
Joke by hacienda88, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged christmas , cross , jesus , nailed , xmas - Current Score: 285 - Added: 1 year ago
| Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt. | |
Joke by caliban, in Celebrity and news events > Diana - Tagged diana , princess diana , cross , road , seat , belt , seat belt , seatbelt , wear , wearing , crash , car , dead , death , accident - Current Score: 194 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| What did Jesus say to his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross? "Don't touch my fucking Easter eggs, I'll be back on Monday." | |
Joke by stopher, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged jesus , eggs , cross , monday - Current Score: 150 - Added: 8 months ago
| Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils. | |
Joke by staffer, in Illness and mortality > Eyes - Tagged pupils , controlling , teachers , cross , eyes - Current Score: 122 - Added: 2 months ago
| Murphy decided to open up his own D.I.Y store called "Murphy's Nails". It started off fairly well but he decided it could do with some advertisiment so he rang his mate Pat who was a media advertiser to make a T.V. advert for him which Pat agreed and said it would air on Friday. Murphy got all excited and invited all his friends and family round to watch it. The advert began with the camera at the bottom of the hill and it gradually panned up to the top to show Jesus on the cross and the tagline "They used Murphy's Nails" appeared. Murphy was horrified and his friends and family were disgusted, so immediatley he rang his mate Pat and screamed down the phone at him "What's this, that's not the way to sell my product, people are gonna get the wrong message". Pat replied, "Aye, I can see you're problem, i'm sorry pal, i'll change it and it'll re-air next Friday. So next Friday comes round and Murphy nervously invites all his friends and family back to watch the advert that should've appeared. As the advert comes on it again starts the same way with the camera at the bottom of the hill, it gradually pans up to the top of the hill to show the same cross, however it's empty, and in the distance Jesus can be seen legging it and up comes the tagline "They Should've Used Murphy's Nails". | |
Joke by ravage monster, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged cross , irish , advertising - Current Score: 107 - Added: 8 months, 24 days ago
| Jesus walks into a hotel, throws a bag of nails on the counter and says, "Can you put me up for the night?" | |
Joke by caliban, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged jesus , one liners , christian , christianity , christ , nail , nails , cross , hotel , night , god - Current Score: 61 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Why did the chicken cross the Atlantic? To get away from America | |
Joke by EnglishWhiteBoy, in Jokes with no home > Chickens - Tagged chicken , chickens , america , americans , american , road , cross , atlantic , englishwhiteboy - Current Score: 56 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| West Midlands Police are on the look out for a cross-eyed burglar. They have stated, "If you see him peering in your front window, please warn the people next door." | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Burglar - Tagged cross , eyed , burglar , warn , next , door , maybe two ronnies - Current Score: 41 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| How do you make a bear cross? Nail two of them together. | |
Joke by Chuckie F, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged cross , bear , together - Current Score: 22 - Added: 7 months ago
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