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| Tom Cruise gets up one day. Looking in the mirror, he's admiring his body. "Mmm, looking good today Tom," he says. He then gives his pecs a little squeeze- "Mmmm, feeling good Tom." He suddenly notices a funny smell, takes a whiff of himself and almost chokes- "Fuck, I smell awful!" So he goes to talk to Katie. "Katie," he says, "there's something wrong with me!" "Well you look good," says Katie, walking toward him, "and you feel good," she says giving him a little squeeze, then suddenly "Fuck Tom, you smell fucking awful! Get to the doctor!" So Tom goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, there's something seriously wrong!" "Well, take a seat and I'll examine you," says the doctor. "Hmmm. Well, you look good Tom...... and you feel pretty good..... oh dear God you smell awful!" So the doctor goes over to his medical books to make a diagnosis. "Do you know what's wrong with me Doctor?" "Lets see Tom. So you look good, you feel good but you smell awful........ ah yes, here we are." "You're a cunt." |    |
Joke by RossMcG, in Celebrity and news events > Tom Cruise - Tagged tom , cruise , cunt - Current Score: 122 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Two paedophiles are on a cruise when one falls overboard. "Help! Help! I'm drowning! Someone throw me a buoy!" The other turns to the passengers surrounding him and says "Thats my mate - game to the end!" | |
Joke by djh001, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged paedophile , cruise , buoy , pun - Current Score: 116 - Added: 4 months ago
| Just picked a cheap last minute holiday. I am off tomorrow for a two week cruise around Texas. | |
Joke by bawbag, in Celebrity and news events > Hurricaine Ike - Tagged hurricane ike , texas , cruise , flood - Current Score: 13 - Added: 2 months ago
| I'm off to Somalia for my holiday. The foods not up to much, but I hear the mystery boat tour is fantastic. | |
Joke by mallatar, in Celebrity and news events > Somalian Boat Capture - Tagged somalia , cruise - Current Score: 9 - Added: 2 hours ago
| My wife said she fancied a cruise. So I took her with me to Hampstead Heath. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Gay - Tagged wife , cruise , hampstead heath - Current Score: 4 - Added: 1 month, 23 days ago
ht got buried to -5. Reveal Joke
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