Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Showing all jokes.
| Mummy takes little Johnny to the zoo. As they pass the elephant cage, the elephant has an erection. "What's that, Mummy?" asks the child. "Nothing, Johnny, nothing," says the embarrassed mother, swiftly leading him on. A week later Johnny's dad takes him and the same happens. "What's that, Daddy?" "That, son, is the elephant's penis." "Mummy said it was nothing." "Your mother's spoiled, Son!" |    |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged penis , elephant , mummy , daddy , erection - Current Score: 792 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes." The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes." The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?" She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa." | |
Joke by sickfuck, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged sex , mummy , daddy , baking - Current Score: 125 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| It was my first night in prison and I was feeling a bit nervous. My cellmate was a huge bloke with muscles on his muscles. When lights out came and I was lying on my bunk he said: "Seeing that we're going to be spending so much time together we better be family. What do you want to be, mummy or daddy" "Oh shit" I thought. But, on the principle that it's better to give than to receive, I said "I'll be daddy then" "Fair enough" says my cellmate "Now come over here and suck mummy's cock....." | |
Joke by Legless, in Celebrity and news events > Michael Jackson - Tagged michael jackson , jacko , prison sex , daddy , mummy - Current Score: 61 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Two parents take their son on a holiday and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mum and says "Mummy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mum says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Minutes later he runs back and says, "Mummy, I saw men with willies a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mum says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mummy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!" | |
Joke by milo123, in Sex and shit > Nudist - Tagged nude , beach , boobs , mummy , daddy - Current Score: 44 - Added: 10 months ago
| little Bobby says to his dad " Do you and mummy keep birds in your bedroom?", Daddy says "No, What do you mean?", and bobby says "Well, last night i was passing by your room, and i heard you say to mummy "Do you wanna swallow , or should i let it fly?" | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Little Girl/little Boy - Tagged swallow , birds , mummy , daddy , little , bobby , fly - Current Score: 43 - Added: 8 months, 22 days ago
| I remember my daddy saying to me, "Sue, daddy's got to go shopping, okay?" I was twelve before I realised that I didn't have a supermarket up my cunt. | |
Joke by mynameissue, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged daddy , supermarket , cunt - Current Score: 34 - Added: 4 months ago
| I had a misplaced childhood. Mostly because of my dad's misplaced manhood. | |
Joke by storyteller, in Sex and shit > Child Abuse - Tagged merillion , paedophile , daddy , father , penis - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 week ago
| Heath Ledger's two-year-old daughter Matilda Rose will inherit the late actor's entire £12.6 million estate. Well done Matilda, nobody would believe that a two-year-old was capable of spiking Daddy's drink. Looks like you got away with it. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Heath Ledger - Tagged ledger , daddy , spiking , murder - Current Score: 5 - Added: 1 month, 23 days ago
| A father and son are at the beach. The son is a bit retarded and is looking bored. The father says, ‘‘Here son, why don't you take this pound coin and go buy an ice cream from the ice cream van up there?’’ The boy replies in a mongy voice, ‘‘Fang yew, daddy.’’ The son spazzes his way up to the ice cream van and says, ‘‘Can I please have a ice cream cone wiv a Flake, please?’’ The ice cream man says nothing. He makes the ice cream, and, as the boy reaches over for it, shoves it in his face. Upset, the boy spazzes back to his father and tells him what happened. ‘‘That's strange, son. Look, here's another pound. Go and try again and if he does it again come back and I'll sort it out.’’ ‘‘Okay, daddy.’’ So the son spazzes back across the beach top the ice cream van and asks for another ice cream with a Flake. Again, the ice cream man makes the ice cream up and shoves it in the kid's face. The son spazzes back across the sand and, crying, tells his dad, ‘‘The ice cream man did it ‘gain!’’ The father, furious, storms up to the ice cream man; ‘‘Oi! What's your bloody problem, pal? Every time my son comes up here for an ice cream, you shove it in his face!’’ The ice cream man, realising the boy is retarded, suddenly looks embarrassed, and replies, ‘‘I’m thorry, I fort he was makin’ fun of me.’’ | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Illness and mortality > Autism - Tagged retard , retards , mong , mongs , downs , downs syndrome , down syndrome , beach , ice cream , boy , son , father , dad , daddy - Current Score: 1 - Added: 3 weeks ago
Showing all jokes.
Custurd spent 0.1ms doing 11 queries and 0.08s processing. She's 0.68% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel