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| My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked, "Is that the best you can do?" |    |
Joke by bawbag, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged daughter , questions , sex - Current Score: 695 - Added: 1 week ago
| Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy, who has a broken leg. Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?" "No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds. "Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both." "Fook off you liar!" "I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?" "Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?" | |
Joke by charlie1105, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged irish , twins , fuck , daughter - Current Score: 536 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| My daughter had a charades party for her birthday. After my turn I was beaten up by the other dads. It would seem that holding my cock and wanking furiously while staring at my daughters friends is not the best way to do Gary glitter. | |
Joke by justincider, in Celebrity and news events > Gary Glitter - Tagged daughter , charades , party , dads , cock , wanking - Current Score: 511 - Added: 1 month, 23 days ago
| Me and the wife were trying roleplay in the bedroom last night. She walked out in a huff after 30 seconds. Apparently, asking your wife to pretend to be your daughter isn't very sexy. | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged paedo , paedophile , roleplay , daughter , incest - Current Score: 505 - Added: 7 months ago
| A man takes his nine year old daughter to the doctor. After several hours in the waiting room, (NHS...) they're called in. "Hello," the doctor says. "How can I help you?" The man nods, "It's my daughter, I was wondering if you could put her on birth control." "Birth control?" the doctor is incredulous. "She's too young to be sexually active!" "Sexually active?" the father says, "She just lies there like her mother!" | |
Joke by co2, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged incest , paedophilia , sex , daughter , chemist , birth control , condom , paedophile , josef , fritzl , austria - Current Score: 474 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| I was in the pub last night when the barman asked me, "How come I never see you in here with Pete any more?" I asked him, "Would you drink with a bloke who's a liar, always late, borrows money he never pays back, always tries to squirm out of his round, jealous of everything you have, and when your back is turned he tries to fuck your wife and daughter?" "Bloody hell! No!" he said, somewhat flabbergasted. "Well, neither would Pete," I added. | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged liar , wife , daughter , drink , jealous , borrows - Current Score: 465 - Added: 1 month ago
| A mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest daughter walks in. The child asks, "Mother, where do babies come from? " "Well dear...a mommy and daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their room...they kiss and hug and have sex." The daughter looks puzzled. "That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy's vagina. That's how you get a baby, honey." The daughter replies, "Oh I see, but the other night when I came into you and daddy's room you had daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?" "Jewellery, dear." | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Oral Sex - Tagged jewellery , blow job , mother , daughter - Current Score: 289 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A 13-year-old Belgian girl wrote to the advice column of a teenager's magazine: "I am 13 years old and I'm the only virgin in the class. Is my Dad queer?" | |
Joke by geebee, in Sex and shit > Daughters - Tagged daughter , dad , virgin , belgium , incest , paedo - Current Score: 277 - Added: 3 months ago
| I said "Darling, let's try something new in the bedroom... I'll get some chocolate spread, some whipped cream, and a few strawberries. "Then I'll paint my cock with the chocolate spread, and call the kids in for a 'special treat'. Then, one by one, I'll pop the strawberries up my arse, squirt cream down my crack, and while Emily deepthroats me for the last of the chocolate, Jessica can my lick my arsehole and swallow strawberries as I shit them out. "Then it'll be time to pop their cherries. I'll start with Jess cos she's already 9, she'll be a bit more developed. While I'm fucking her childish vagina, Emily can lick up the blood and get her own tiny cunt ready for a good stretching. "Then I'll finish off by banging them in the arse a couple of times before squirting my load over their pretty little faces. Shall we give it a go?" My wife looked stunned. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!" she said. I said "Fuck me you're into some weird shit" | |
Joke by storyteller, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged incest , necrophilia , paedophilia , virgin , aristocrats , rape , woman , cunt , death , kids , cock , paedo , fuck , arse , children , dad , daughter , sick - Current Score: 266 - Added: 1 week ago
| My daughter used to go out wearing the shortest skirts and lowest tops known to man and I advised her not to. I said, "You're going to end up getting raped one of these days, and you'll be sorry then!". Of course the inevitable happened and she was so upset - I decided not to rub it in her face though. I just came on her tits instead. | |
Joke by CJJ, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged daughter , rape , incest , cum , tits , shove my dick in her face - Current Score: 241 - Added: 4 weeks ago
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