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Would you like to log in , or create an account? 		The news. Read it. (Updated: June 25th)
Browsing tag: death
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I used to hate weddings. All the old dears would poke me and say, "you're next."

They soon stopped when I started saying the same to them at funerals.		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Mrwolf, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged aunt , wedding , funeral , death  - Current Score: 451 - Added: 1 year ago

The Welsh mining industry looks set for a come-back......

Apparently they've found some copper in Snowdonia.		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by thecorinthian, in Celebrity and news events > Police - Tagged death , news , uk , police  - Current Score: 342 - Added: 4 months ago

Little Johnny goes into school after being absent the previous day,

His teacher demands, "where were you yesterday?"

"I'm sorry Miss, my dad got burnt," replies Johnny.

"Oh,I'm sorry,I hope it wasn't serious," says the teacher.

To which Johnny replies, "well, they don't fuck about at the crematorium."		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by stu71, in Illness and mortality > Dying - Tagged death , teacher , little johnny , dad  - Current Score: 242 - Added: 1 year ago

Two chavs race their Novas off a cliff to see who hits the bottom first...who wins?

Society.		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Ciabi, in Religion and racism > Chavs - Tagged chavs , cars , racing , death  - Current Score: 241 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

Bono is at a U2 concert when he asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says into the microphone... "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice from near the front pierces the silence... "Well, fucking speed it up then!"I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by ht, in Celebrity and news events > Bono - Tagged bono , u2 , african , child , death  - Current Score: 225 - Added: 1 year ago

Did you hear about the 9 year old African boy?

He was going through a mid-life crisis.		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by twayne, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged africa , death , mid life crisis , black , blacks , nigger , niggers , the onion  - Current Score: 214 - Added: 3 weeks ago

I feel that i was unjustly sacked from my job yesterday.
My boss felt that having sex with the clients wasn't "appropriate" so he fired me.
That's the last time I work for an undertaker.		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by offended?, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged death , necrophillia , sex  - Current Score: 161 - Added: 2 months ago

Research shows the first five minutes of life can be the most risky.

Somehow I think that the last five minutes aren't so hot either.		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by BruceWillis, in Illness and mortality > life - Tagged life , death , research  - Current Score: 160 - Added: 3 weeks ago

My wife said she can do anything twice as well as me.

So I donated a kidney.		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by tom the storyteller, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , kidney , death , competition , donate , organ donation , moob  - Current Score: 159 - Added: 2 weeks ago

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

He doesn't, he's dead.		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by william shatner, in Jokes with no home > Celebrity - Tagged bob marley , death , food , donut , doughnut  - Current Score: 142 - Added: 2 months ago

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