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| I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me... "Oi, what's your disability?" I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off you cunt!" |    |
Joke by ht, in Illness and mortality > Tourettes - Tagged disability , cunt , traffic , tourettes , warden , disabled , shouted - Current Score: 970 - Added: 1 year ago
| Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one. | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged women , disabled , parking - Current Score: 812 - Added: 11 months ago
| A man was walking along the beach one day, when he happened to pass by a very lovely young woman that didnt have any arms or legs, gently sobbing to herself... 'Why the tears?' he asked. She says, 'I'm 18 years old and i've never been kissed.' The man pauses for a moment, then smiles and gives her a soft kiss on the head. She laughs a little and puckers up so he gives her a big kiss on the lips. They pause for an unsure moment and then shes says 'You know... i'm 18 years old... and i've never been fucked!' The man stands up starts smiling and grabs the young woman by the hair and tosses her into the sea. She starts screaming and bobbing up and down, then the man shouts; 'WELL YOU'RE FUCKED NOW DARLING!' | |
Joke by sickfuck, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged wheelchair , sex , virgin , disabled - Current Score: 582 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Job Interview A chap goes to the Council for a job. The interviewer asks him - "Have you been in the armed services?" Yes" he says "I was in the Falklands for three years." The interviewer says "That will give you extra points toward employment" and then asks "Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says "Yes 100%... a land mine blew my testicles off." The interviewer tells the guy "OK.I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 AM . to 4:00 PM . You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00AM ." The guy is puzzled and says "If the hours are from 8:00AM to 4:00 PM why do you want me to come in at 10:00 AM? " "This is a council job" the interviewer replies. "For the first two hours we sit around scratching our balls...no point in you coming in for that........." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Jokes with no home > Bar Jokes - Tagged balls , scratch , testicles , puzzle , disabled , services - Current Score: 217 - Added: 7 months ago
| My friend is in a wheelchair, so I gave him a chainsaw, wrapped him in tinfoil and sent him on Robot Wars. But seriously - he's dead now. | |
Joke by GangRape, in Celebrity and news events > Stephen Hawking - Tagged wheelchair , disabled , disability , robot wars - Current Score: 213 - Added: 1 day ago
| Two spastics go up to an ice cream van and say, "can we have a couple of 99's please?" Ice cream man says, "certainly, would you like chocolate sauce or strawberry sauce?" They say, "it doesn't really matter, mate... we're gonna drop 'em anyway." | |
Joke by caliban, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged disabled , disability - Current Score: 138 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| The wife told me to talk to her like she was special the other day. So I said "Gooo....Anddd...Makee...Meee...A...Cuuppp....Offff....Teaaaa" | |
Joke by doubletee, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged disabled , wife , special , talk , tea , slow - Current Score: 111 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I was watching the God channel with my disabled little sister the other day. After around thirty minutes, she rose from her wheelchair and walked across the room. I stood up and screamed, "it's a miracle." She turned round and replied, "no, I just can't stand to listen to this shit anymore," turned the TV off and collapsed in a heap in the middle of the room. | |
Joke by yudlugar, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged god channel , disabled , tv - Current Score: 105 - Added: 1 month, 28 days ago
| You never get any disabled comedians really, do you? Guess it's because they're all shit at stand up. | |
Joke by binso, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged disabled , stand up , binso - Current Score: 90 - Added: 2 months ago
| Man with no arms enters a national masturbation competition. Poor sod didn't come anywhere. | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged disabled , masturbation , wank , wanking - Current Score: 89 - Added: 9 months ago
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