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| I went to the doctor and said, "My shit looks like liquorice." He said, "You're gonna die in five minutes." I said, "Why? What disease have I got?" He said, "All sorts." |    |
Joke by SoccerGod, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged shit , die , death , ill , kill , illness , doctor , disease - Current Score: 110 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| An Olympic frisbee player died this week after catching something that was going around. | |
Joke by Bartender Boy, in Jokes with no home > Sports - Tagged frisbee , olympic , disease - Current Score: 100 - Added: 9 months ago
| Do you know what really makes me sick? Bulimia. | |
Joke by Henners, in Illness and mortality > Bulimia - Tagged bulimia , vomit , illness , puke , disease , jade goody - Current Score: 76 - Added: 2 months ago
| A man goes to the doctor for his test results. The doctor says, 'Mr Smith, do you want the good news or the bad news?' 'Give me the bad news please Doc' he replies. 'OK then' says the doctor, 'you're going to die in 48 hours.' The man is shocked and says, 'well, what's the bloody good news?' The doctor replies, 'we're naming a disease after you.' | |
Joke by electrohouseman, in Illness and mortality > Disease - Tagged disease , doctor , bad news , results , name - Current Score: 74 - Added: 5 months, 22 days ago
| I was in the bookstore the other day and came across a book titled "Living with Parkinson's Disesase and Arthritis". I looked at the back to see what the critics had to say about it. "After an initial shakey start, I just couldn't put this book down." | |
Joke by mickle, in Illness and mortality > Arthritis - Tagged parkinsons , book , shaky , disease - Current Score: 60 - Added: 7 months ago
| As with all "celebrities" who get ill and become a spokesperson for their disease, Jade Goody will now speak out for cunts everywhere. | |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Celebrity and news events > Jade Goody - Tagged cunt , disease , more cunts , cancer , celebrities - Current Score: 41 - Added: 3 months ago
| Why did the leper get kicked out of the army? He kept going into battle unarmed. | |
Joke by superhorse, in Illness and mortality > Leper - Tagged leper , army , disease , unarmed - Current Score: 35 - Added: 7 months, 26 days ago
| A lad & his girlfriend are having sex every night & the same old routine is starting to get boring. So, as she's a big girl, she suggests he sticks his foot inside her to see if that spices things up. The lad takes off his shoe & sock & rams his foot up her clopper. She squeals with delight & so he continues on a nightly basis giving her a good "footing". After a couple of weeks the lad notices a rash on his foot & hobbles off to see the doctor. The doc takes a look & says "It looks like you've got VD of the foot!". The lad asks if this is common, and the doctor scratches his head & says "I've never seen anything like it in my life! It's strange though, I've just had a girl in here with ATHLETE'S FANNY" | |
Joke by chelsea_steve, in Sex and shit > Sexual diseases - Tagged std , sex , fanny , fuck , disease , doctor - Current Score: 20 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| After going to the hospital for a routine checkup, a man is devastated when he finds out he has the rare deadly disease B55. The doctor tells him that he only has 1 week to live. After going home to come to terms with the news the man decides that he is not going to waste his last week alive so he and his wife go out to bingo. While he is there he decides to enter the prize draw game. First of all he gets 1 line and wins a car. Then he gets 2 lines and wins £10,000. Then he gets a full house and wins the holiday of a lifetime for two. At the end of the round the bingo caller comes up to him and said, "You must be the luckiest man in the world! You have just won a car, £10,000, and the holiday of a lifetime in just one game." "I'm not that lucky" replied the man. "I've got B55." The bingo callers face turns to shock and he says, "You lucky bastard! You've won the raffle as well!" | |
Joke by superhorse, in Illness and mortality > disease - Tagged b55 , disease , deadly , bingo , lucky - Current Score: 19 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Actual sign in front of a clinic in Italy: Specialist in women and other diseases. | |
Joke by disturbed, in Jokes with no home > Women - Tagged women , disease , doctor , clinic - Current Score: 12 - Added: 1 month ago
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