Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Page 1 of 2 - Next Page
| I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?" I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off." |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged blacksmith , donkey , horse - Current Score: 1361 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; It just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone.. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. Remember the five simple rules to be happy: Free your heart from hatred - Forgive. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen. Live simply and appreciate what you have. Give more. Expect less NOW .. Enough of that crap . . . The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock. MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON: When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you. You have two choices...smile and vote this down, or vote this up to spread the fun. | |
Joke by guest1, in Jokes with no home > moral - Tagged donkey , up , down - Current Score: 54 - Added: 6 months ago
| The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read:PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was all too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE! The bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer! | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged nun , ass , donkey , bishop - Current Score: 43 - Added: 10 months ago
| I've got a cock like a donkey. I've been using it to give kids rides down on the beach under the pier. | |
Joke by Fles, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged ride , kids , donkey , cock - Current Score: 33 - Added: 2 months ago
| My wife told me she wanted more freedom and more room to grow.. .. so we're expanding the kitchen. | |
Joke by Wolfzfang, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged my , wife , sucks , dick , like , a , donkey , on , crack - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 week ago
| Why don't the Spanish have driving lessons and sex education classes on the same day? Because it tires out the donkey... | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > Spanish - Tagged donkey , sex , tires , driving , education , lessons - Current Score: 26 - Added: 3 months ago
| A Paki was riding through town on his donkey when he sees a man. He stops and gets off his donkey. The man asks 'Is your donkey male or female'? 'Female' says the Paki. 'How do you know?' asked the man. 'Well,' said the Paki. 'When I was riding her through town people were shouting 'Look at the cunt on that donkey'. | |
Joke by jacko93, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged paki , cunt , donkey , sexism - Current Score: 20 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What do Jesus and Mohammed have in common? They both came on a donkey. | |
Joke by bawbag, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged jesus , mohammed , donkey - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 month, 25 days ago
| There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. He doesn't know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his female donkey. The manager sees him and asks where he's going with his donkey. "Anywhere I go, she goes." "I'm sorry, sir," said the manager, "but you can't take the donkey upstairs. Leave it down here with us and we'll take good care of her." So Bozo goes up to his room and opens the door. Everything is made of gold, there is a table full of food, and a huge television. He doesn't want to ruin anything so he takes his raggedy coat off and sleeps on the floor. The next morning the manager comes up to the room and asks how his night was. ''Great!'' replied Bozo. ''How much do I have to pay?'' he asks. ''One thousand dollars for the food.'' ''But I haven't touched the food." ''It was right there, so you should have. Two thousand dollars for the TV." ''But I didn't even know how to turn the damn thing on!'' ''It was there, so you should have. Five thousand for sleeping on the bed." ''But I slept on the floor!'' ''It was there. Your total is eight thousand dollars." ''You owe me ten thousand dollars for screwing my donkey.'' ''But sir, I didn't screw your donkey.'' ''It was there. You should have!'' | |
Joke by Wardy888, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged donkey , old man - Current Score: 8 - Added: 8 months ago
| Why don't they have sex education and drivers awarness on the same day in Pakistan? Its too much work for the donkeys. | |
Joke by haj, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged paki , asian , sex , donkey , beastiality - Current Score: 1 - Added: 10 months ago
Page 1 of 2 - Next Page
Custurd spent 0.19ms doing 12 queries and 0.06s processing. She's 0.39% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel