Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Page 1 of 6 - Next Page
| A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking Sir?" "No. Why?" replies the man. "Was I all over the road?" "No," replies the officer, "you were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious." |    |
Joke by Ciabi, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged ugly , fat , drink , drunk - Current Score: 296 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What do you call a Muslim desperate for a drink? Allah Vabeer | |
Joke by mamma mia, in Religion and racism > Muslim - Tagged muslim , paki , beer , drink - Current Score: 184 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| The "bishop" came to our church today. He was a fuckin impostor. Never once moved diagonally | |
Joke by wreckless., in Religion and racism > Aborigines - Tagged chess , drink , girls feck , arse - Current Score: 116 - Added: 6 months ago
| It's now official, beer is cheaper than fuel. So this summer: "Drink, Don't Drive" | |
Joke by niggers out, in Celebrity and news events > Petrol Prices - Tagged petrol , diesel , beer , drink - Current Score: 105 - Added: 1 month ago
| I turned to the wife the other night and said "I'm going down the pub, get your coat" "Thats nice, you gonna buy me a drink?" she asked. "No, I'm turning the heating off" | |
Joke by captain slow, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , pub , drink , coat - Current Score: 102 - Added: 4 months ago
| A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from Hong Kong to Sydney, Australia. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Aussie asked for a rum and coke, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores and my head stuffed up a sheeps arsehole than let liquor touch my lips." The Aussie handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice." | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Religion and racism > Australians - Tagged aussie , muslim , plane , drink , alcohol , sheep , rape , whore - Current Score: 94 - Added: 9 months ago
| Man walks into a bar and orders 10 double Whiskys, downs em in one. Barman says "What's up?" Man replies "My youngest son's just told me that he's gay". Next day man goes in and orders 15 double whiskys. "What's up now?" asks the Barman. "Just found out my eldest son is gay" he replies. Next day he goes in and orders 20 whiskys. "Fuck me!" says the Baman, "Does no one in your family like pussy?" "Yes" he replies "My wife!" | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Gay - Tagged gay , drink - Current Score: 68 - Added: 11 months ago
| A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.' Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.' As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?' The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.' As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?' The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.' The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.' The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.' And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??' The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?' 'Only when he's been drinking.' | |
Joke by niggers out, in Jokes with no home > Drunk - Tagged drink , drunk , wife , driving - Current Score: 67 - Added: 6 months ago
| A man goes into a bar and approaches a gorgeous young woman who is sitting by herself: Man: "May I buy you a drink?" Woman: "No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs." Man: "Im sorry to hear that. Do they swell?" Woman: "No, they just open..." | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged man , drink , legs , swell , open - Current Score: 62 - Added: 11 months ago
| How do you recognise an Irish rape suspect? He steps out of the line and says "That's the girl!!" | |
Joke by cooperman, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged paddy , semtex , drink , girls , feck , arse - Current Score: 56 - Added: 7 months ago
Page 1 of 6 - Next Page
Server: 0.65s/12q/233.
Copyright 2005-2008 Rob Manuel - a cr3ative media® project