Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Showing all jokes.
| A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving." |    |
Joke by bawbag, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged eggs , driving , wife - Current Score: 174 - Added: 3 months ago
| What did Jesus say to his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross? "Don't touch my fucking Easter eggs, I'll be back on Monday." | |
Joke by stopher, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged jesus , eggs , cross , monday - Current Score: 150 - Added: 8 months ago
| Which of the following doesn't belong? 1)Wife 2)Meat, 3)Eggs, 4)Blow job A: The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job. | |
Joke by AS, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged blow job , wife , eggs - Current Score: 107 - Added: 6 months ago
| Why do Alzheimer's patients love easter so much? They can hide their own eggs! | |
Joke by why say that, in Illness and mortality > Alzheimers - Tagged alzheimers , easter , patients , eggs - Current Score: 47 - Added: 6 months, 23 days ago
| Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig | |
Joke by billyboi85, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged ham , eggs , chicken , pig , food - Current Score: 28 - Added: 3 months ago
| Sue had been married to Frank for 20 years. One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and £5.000. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband about it. "Oh, that," Frank said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad. "But what about the £5000?" "Every time I got a dozen, I sold them." | |
Joke by trenchcoat, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged eggs , box , affairs , money - Current Score: 16 - Added: 11 months ago
| Q: Spot the odd one out: eggs, wife, meat, a good blowjob? A: A good blowjob. You can beat your meat, beat your wife, and beat your eggs but you just can't beat a good blowjob. | |
Joke by geebee, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged eggs , meat , blowjob , wife - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 month ago
| What did one gay sperm say to the other? "How we supposed to find an egg in all this shit?" | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged gay , sperm , eggs - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A bloke goes for the job of cook on a ship. The geezer who is interviewing asks "Can you fry eggs". "Can I fry eggs! I've worked in some of the top hotels in England" replies the bloke... "Give me half a dozen." So he's given six eggs which he starts to juggle with. After a minute of brilliant juggling, he throws the eggs one-by-one over his shoulder towards the frying pan which is behind him. Each egg hits the side of the pan, cracks open and the shell falls into the bin below and the eggs slide unbroken into the frying pan. "That's amazing," says the interviewer "but it must have been a fluke." "A fluke! Give me a dozen" says the bloke. He then proceeds to do even more elaborate juggling and repeat the finale so there's now eighteen unbroken eggs sizzling in the frying pan. "Well then do I get the job" "No, you piss about too much!!" | |
Joke by Grave, in Jokes with no home > Random - Tagged eggs , cooking - Current Score: 5 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
Grrrmachine got buried to -7. Reveal Joke
Showing all jokes.
Custurd spent 0.63ms doing 12 queries and 0.09s processing. She's 2.94% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel