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| My Grandad says his sex life is great. He says, since his girlfriend has been loosing her teeth, the blow-jobs have been fantastic... ... May be a different story when her adult teeth start coming through though. |    |
Joke by shittychickengangbang, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged elderly , sex , head , blowjob , teeth , nursing home - Current Score: 193 - Added: 3 months, 27 days ago
| My granny was recently beaten to death by my grandad. Not as in 'with a stick' - he just died first. | |
Joke by billcarr, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged elderly , grandparents , death - Current Score: 110 - Added: 3 months ago
| When my grandfather was ill, my grandmother used to rub lard on his back. After that, he went downhill very quickly. | |
Joke by bleary, in Illness and mortality > Age - Tagged elderly , grandfather , lard - Current Score: 42 - Added: 6 months ago
| An elderly man with Allzheimers walks into a bar and sees a rather tasty elderly woman. He walks over and sits beside her and says "do I come here often?" | |
Joke by mickle, in Illness and mortality > Alzheimers - Tagged bar , elderly , woman - Current Score: 32 - Added: 1 year ago
| An old man took his wife to the doctor's. After a short examination the doctor said, 'I'm afraid your wife's mind has completely gone!'. The old man replied, 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 45 years.' | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged old , elderly , senile , alzheimers , wife , husband , doctor - Current Score: 31 - Added: 1 month ago
| A young medical student approaches an elderly patient with a syringe in his hand. ''Nothing to worry about,'' says the student, noticing the concerned look on the old man's face, ''just a little prick with a needle.'' ''Yes, I know you are,'' says the old man, ''But what the fuck are you gonna do with it?'' | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Illness and mortality > Hospital - Tagged medicine , hospital , student , elderly , old man , old - Current Score: 27 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Old age; first you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull your zipper up, and finally, you forget to pull it down. | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged old age , old people , incontinence , zipper , zip , fly , elderly , senile - Current Score: 20 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a whore house. When they arrived at the house, the Madam took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used "blow-up" dolls instead. She put a doll in each man's room and left them to their business. After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking. The first man said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or groaned. How was it for you?" The second man replied, "I think mine was a witch." The first man asked, "How's that?" "Well," said the second man, "when I nibbled on her breast, she farted and flew out the window!" | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Sex and shit > Blow Up Doll - Tagged elderly , whorehouse , madam , blow-up doll , dead , witch , breast , fart - Current Score: 15 - Added: 1 year ago
| Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?" | |
Joke by Doodlebug, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged elderly , woman - Current Score: 14 - Added: 7 months ago
| What's got 90 balls and likes to screws old women? Bingo! | |
Joke by mikey, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged peter kay , old women , bingo , old ladies , elderly - Current Score: 9 - Added: 11 months ago
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