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Browsing tag: epileptic
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What does a black epileptic have written on his t-shirt?

Help me, I'm not breakdancing!
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Joke by grant17, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged epileptic , epileps , racist , black , breakdancing , breakdance  - Current Score: 279 - Added: 3 days ago

Englishman on holiday in Texas.
He wanders into a local shitkickers bar and has a good few beers.
After a while, he notices there's one of those mechanical bulls in the corner and he asks the barman if he can have a go.
The barman not only says yes but grabs a mic and procedes to make a big show out of it. Englishman on a good ol' Texan bull, etc.

The Englishman climbs on and the bull starts moving.
"No one's ever made it past 5 minutes on their first try, Limey!" someone shouts.
But the Englishman sails through the 5-minute mark. He blasts past 10 and 15 and even 20 minutes, still holding on just fine.
The crowd is awestruck. He's fast approaching the World Record.
The barman cranks the bull up to 11 and it goes fucking apeshit. But the plucky Englishman hangs on in there.
Eventually, after 45 minutes, the bull breaks down and comes to a halt. The crowd are cheering and whooping as the barman grabs the hand of the sweating Englishman and shoves the mic in his face.
"Holy Goddam shit boy! You done broke the World Record by a clear 15 minutes! How'd you do that?"
The Englishman replies, "Easy. My wife's an epileptic. And if you can fuck her for 5 minutes, you can ride this bastard for an hour!"
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Joke by ht, in Illness and mortality > Epilepsy - Tagged epileptic , bull , englishman  - Current Score: 245 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago

What do you do when you've just seen a Muslim have an epileptic fit ?

Stop recording and upload the video on to Youtube
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Joke by mamma mia, in Religion and racism > Muslims - Tagged muslim , youtube , epileptic , recording  - Current Score: 196 - Added: 4 months ago

What do you call a good-looking epileptic ?

Fit.
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Joke by Guest, in Illness and mortality > Epilepsy - Tagged epileptic , epilepsy  - Current Score: 112 - Added: 7 months, 29 days ago

How do you make an epileptic fit?

Alcohol and makeup should do it.
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Joke by RevvyB, in Illness and mortality > Epilepsy - Tagged epileptic , alcohol  - Current Score: 77 - Added: 6 months, 28 days ago

What's blue and doesn't fit?

A dead epileptic!
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Joke by Puman, in Illness and mortality > Epilepsy - Tagged dead , death , one liners , epilepsy , epileptic  - Current Score: 61 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

What do you call 500 epileptics in a disco?

A foam party.
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Joke by Lemon, in Illness and mortality > Epilepsy - Tagged epileptic , foam , party  - Current Score: 57 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

What's the definition of self-destruction?

An epileptic leper.
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Joke by ht, in Illness and mortality > Leper - Tagged leper , epileptic  - Current Score: 36 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago

My ex-girlfriend was epileptic.

I decided to break up with her in the middle of one her fits.. I know the timing seemed bad, but I just felt she was moving too fast.
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Joke by pally76, in Jokes with no home > Girlfriend - Tagged epileptic , girlfriend  - Current Score: 34 - Added: 5 months ago

My girlfriend's epileptic and flashing lights can give her a seizure.

That's why I carry a torch when she's giving me a hand job.
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Joke by ReigatePen, in Sex and shit > Hand Job - Tagged hand job , epileptic  - Current Score: 26 - Added: 3 months ago

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