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| The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'. In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer , ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. EIN VOLK! EIN REICH! EIN FUHRER! |    |
Joke by rampant, in Jokes with no home > English Language - Tagged english , german , eu , improvement - Current Score: 42 - Added: 11 months ago
| Good to see the Government hasn't lost its sense of humour. According to the latest Home office advert, you need a license to employ people from outside the EU or they "won't get through". Apart from the five million they missed, obviously. | |
Joke by roandy, in Jokes with no home > Adverts - Tagged government , home office , advert , immigrant , eu - Current Score: 39 - Added: 2 months ago
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In order to meet the conditions for joining the Single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase "Spending a penny" is not to be used after 31st December 2008 As of this date, the correct terminology will be: "Euronating" | |
Joke by Zappa88, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged euro , eu , european union , europe - Current Score: 14 - Added: 6 months, 27 days ago
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