Add Joke - All Jokes - Categories - Recent Changes - Forum - Feedback - About - Buy The Book - RSS
Search:
Welcome, Guest!
Would you like to log in , or create an account?
Report a site problem
Browsing tag: face
Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest

Page 1 of 2 - Next Page

My ex-girlfriend says that I spoilt her and that I've ruined her for other men.

In fairness, I did throw acid in her face.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Fles, in Jokes with no home > Girlfriend - Tagged acid , face , spoilt  - Current Score: 137 - Added: 4 weeks ago

facebook.cn, the Chinese version of Facebook, was launched earlier today.

Within hours, it had 12 million pages, but unfortunately, they're all the same.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by tom the storyteller, in Jokes with no home > Internet - Tagged china , facebook , cn , same , face , moob  - Current Score: 113 - Added: 1 month ago

Bill Clinton is walking down a corridor in the White House when he sees a pretty young girl walking towards him.

"Hello," he says "Are you new here?"

"Yes," she replies "I started yesterday."

"Ah," answers Bill "I thought I hadn't come across your face before."
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Celebrity and news events > Bill Clinton - Tagged bill clinton , white house , girl , new , come , face  - Current Score: 94 - Added: 9 months ago

Went to a Muslim strip club last week, where all the blokes were chanting "show us ya face".I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by GIZZARD, in Religion and racism > Aborigines - Tagged muslim , face  - Current Score: 68 - Added: 5 months ago

My wife went to the beauty parlour for a facial mud pack.

She looked really nice for a couple of days

Then the mud fell off.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by GIZZARD, in Jokes with no home > mud pack - Tagged wife , mud , face , beauty , fell off  - Current Score: 31 - Added: 3 months ago

A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately.

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?", she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I’m afraid I can’t," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message,"
she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "There is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by McLOVIN, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged pub , hair , man , manager , hands , message , face  - Current Score: 28 - Added: 1 year ago

Why was the leper ice hockey game abandoned?

There was a face off in the corner
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by wamphyri, in Illness and mortality > Leper - Tagged leper , hockey , face  - Current Score: 22 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago

I tried dogging in Surrey for the first time the other week.

I don't drive, but you should have seen the look on the taxi driver's face.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Sex and shit > Dogging - Tagged dogging , face , surrey , taxi  - Current Score: 10 - Added: 5 days ago

I woke up this morning at the crack of dawn.

I said "Dawn, get off my face."
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by TGS, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged woke up , morning , crack , dawn , face  - Current Score: 0 - Added: 2 weeks ago

Three guys met at the local bar. They were discussing the events of the day. After a few hours, one guy ordered buffalo wings. He offered them to the other two. First guy accepted.

The second guy said he didn't eat anything that has a face.

The first guy said, that must really piss off your wife.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , bar , oral , sex , face , eat  - Current Score: -1 - Added: 7 months ago

Page 1 of 2 - Next Page

Server: Custurd in 0.36s using 12 queries. She's 2.14% angry.
Sickipedia v2.1 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel