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| A man says to his wife, "tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time." His wife replies, "you've got a bigger dick than your brother." |    |
Joke by kitkat456, in Jokes with no home > families - Tagged dick , family , wife , husband - Current Score: 415 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family. | |
Joke by check_the_exit, in Religion and racism > Blacks - Tagged black , bench , funny , racist , racism , family - Current Score: 249 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| I was at a family gathering and I had a shocking realisation. I saw my mother-in-law, and it hit me - in 25 years time, that's what my wife will look like. But it wasn't all bad - it occured to me that, in 25 years, our young daughter will probably look like my wife does now - so there is always that option. | |
Joke by petejtool, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , mother in law , ugly , sex , incest , baby , women , daughter , family - Current Score: 189 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| 22,000 dead in Burma so far. Both families are said to be devastated. | |
Joke by arrowmaker, in Celebrity and news events > Burma - Tagged burma , cyclone , family , jahi - Current Score: 153 - Added: 2 months ago
| Asylum seeker at the side of the road eating grass. Man pulls up in his car and says "Hey! Don't eat that. Come home with me and I'll feed you." The asylum seeker replies "I have 4 wives and 12 kids, can they come too?" Man says "Fuck off, I've only got a small lawn!" | |
Joke by ht, in Religion and racism > assylum seekers - Tagged assylum , family - Current Score: 152 - Added: 11 months ago
| I'm sweating like an Austrian at a family reunion. | |
Joke by goingtohell, in Celebrity and news events > Austrian - Tagged fritzl , family , incest , austria , austrian , sex - Current Score: 138 - Added: 2 months ago
| I went to see my doctor about having a vasectomy He said " Thats a pretty big decision, have you talked it over with your family?" "Yes" I replied, "They're in favour of it, 14 to 3..." | |
Joke by staffer, in Illness and mortality > Doctor - Tagged family , decision , vasectomy - Current Score: 92 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things. Like wild dogs. | |
Joke by ben dover, in Jokes with no home > Dog - Tagged dog , family , ben dover - Current Score: 88 - Added: 2 months ago
| A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road, and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess." What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!", Ashley said. "Very good," the teacher replied. Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are Farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'." "That was a fine story, Sarah," said the teacher. "Michael, do you have a story to share?" "Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Shirley. Aunt Shirley was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands." "Good Heavens", said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?" "Stay the fuck away from Aunt Shirley when she's been drinking." | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Celebrity and news events > Moral - Tagged stories , war , egg , teacher , flying , assignment , father , kids , family , drinking , plane , gun - Current Score: 76 - Added: 11 months ago
| I was chatting with my father this weekend and he gave me some advice. He said "Never marry a virgin" and I asked why? He replied "Well son if she is not good enough for her own family she is then definately not good enough for ours!" I just had to agree.... | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > virgin - Tagged virgin , father , family - Current Score: 75 - Added: 11 months ago
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