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| A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "Beat it! You're washed up and I'm taking over." The old rooster says "I'll tell you what, young stud, I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop. But since I am so old I need a 5 second head start." The young rooster laughs, "You don't stand a chance." So the old rooster takes off running and about 5 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is closing the gap. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting on the front porch when he sees his new stud rooster running behind his old rooster. The farmer shoots the new rooster and sadly shakes his head, "Dam...third gay rooster I've bought this month." |    |
Joke by bigbenontour, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged farm , rooster , gay - Current Score: 109 - Added: 3 months ago
| This bloke is wanting to breed sheep but the only male one he has is gay, as sheep are so rare in his area he decides to try and impregnate them himself by taking them to the woods and shagging them all one by one. A local farmer explains to him that he will know his sheep are pregnant once they stop walking around and lay down. The next day the bloke bundles the sheep back into the landrover and again takes them to the forest and shags them all again, this timehe's knackered and as soon as he gets home he falls straight into bed. When he wakes up the next day he dives straight for the window to see if the sheep are lying down....to his dismay they arent so again he puts the sheep in the car and heads off to the forest. This time he shags them all twice for good luck. When he gets home he is once again knackered so goes straight to bed, in the morning he asks his wife to look out the window and see what the sheep are doing, "That's amazing!" she says. "What are they all laying down?" he asks. "No they're all in the landrover and one of them is papping the horn!" | |
Joke by pinklips, in Sex and shit > Sheep - Tagged sheep , breeding , bestiality , farm - Current Score: 92 - Added: 1 year ago
| In the middle of the harvesting, one of the farmhands had to obey the call of nature. He went to the edge of the field and started peeing. Most unfortunately, he was stung by a bee right on the "tip." The pain was unbearable, but he knew a piece of good advice. He went to the farmers house and put his penis in buttermilk. At that moment the farmers daughter came in. With her face red, she stood perfectly still looking at him. "Have you never seen one of these before?" the farmhand asked. To which the girl replied, "Yes, but this is the first time I see one being reloaded! | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Daughters - Tagged farm , bee , daughter , house , butter , milk , girl , pain - Current Score: 32 - Added: 7 months, 18 days ago
| A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large." Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows." The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?" The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?" | |
Joke by nassi, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged america , australia , wanky yanks , kangaroo , grasshopper , farm - Current Score: 13 - Added: 3 months, 15 days ago
| A man owned a small farm in New York. The New York State Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them" demanded the agent. "Well" replied the farmer "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally." "That's the guy I want to talk to --- the half-wit" says the agent. "That would be me...." replied the farmer. | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Farming - Tagged farm , inland revenue , agent , underpaid - Current Score: 11 - Added: 5 months, 30 days ago
| A female reporter went to a farm to interview a farmer about mad cow disease. She asks the farmer about the causes of mad cow disease but farmer says to the her "Did you know we milk the cows four times a day?" the reporter is confused by the farmers random information and is about to carry on regardless but the farmer says "And did you know the bull mates with the cow once a year?", She, the reporter, is slightly annoyed now and says "Sir, that's all very interesting but what's the point?" the farmer smirks and replies "Well miss if I played with your tits 4 times a day and shagged you once a year wouldn't you go mad too?" | |
Joke by Grunge Pixie, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged animal , reporter , farm , farmer , cows - Current Score: 8 - Added: 8 months ago
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