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| Japanese scientists have invented a camera with a shutter that operates so fast, it was recently able to take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut |    |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged japanese , camera , shutter , fast , mouth , shut - Current Score: 190 - Added: 11 months ago
| I find the saying 'you are what you eat' true. My ex-missus shops at Lidl, for instance, and she's cheap, easy and you don't really want people to know you've been there. | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Shops - Tagged lidl , cheap , fast , easy , eat , exmissus - Current Score: 148 - Added: 6 days ago
| What's the fastest thing on land? Stevie Wonder's speedboat. | |
Joke by greenycrimson, in Illness and mortality > Blind deaf and dumb - Tagged blind , boat , speed , speedboat , land , sea , water , fast , fastest , stevie , wonder , stevie wonder - Current Score: 131 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A rather confident 007 walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No", he replies, "I've just been given this state-of-the-art watch by Q and I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me", he explains. "What's it telling you now?" "Well, it says you're not wearing any knickers..." The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing knickers!" Bond tut tuts, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing must be an hour fast." | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Celebrity and news events > james bond - Tagged 007 , watch , q , telepathy , knickers , bond , fast - Current Score: 63 - Added: 11 months ago
| Three kids in a playground talking about their dads and how great they are. The first one says, "My dad is the fastest man in the world, he can outrun a tiger." The second says, "Mine can outrun a cheetah, he's so quick." The third is unimpressed and laughs, " Mine works for the council, so he's the fastest." "How?" the others ask. "He finishes work at 5.30 but he's home by 2. | |
Joke by mycockisbiggerthanyours, in Jokes with no home > Work - Tagged council , work , kids , fast , fastest , cheetah , tiger - Current Score: 43 - Added: 8 months, 15 days ago
| Only in Britain can you get a pizza to your house faster than an ambulance. | |
Joke by flies, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged pizza , ambulance , fast - Current Score: 11 - Added: 1 week ago
| One day this guy meets this girl and he asks her if she wants to go on a boat ride with him... Sure she replies.. They get to this crossing in the river and he says "Up or down!" She rips off all her clothes and they have fast rough sex! The next day they come to the same point and happily he says "Up or down?" Again she strips and they have sex! Then the next day they come to the same point in the river and the guy says "Up or down?" "Up" she replies He sits there and waits..."Well aren't we gonna have sex?" "OH no...I have my hearing aid turned up now, last time I though you said Fuck or Drown!" | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sex , rough , fast , river , crossing , ride , boat - Current Score: 1 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
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