Apparently 60% of kids are overweight, and 72% of kids are having underage sex... ...So who is shagging all the fat kids?

I went to see Chubby Brown at the weekend. As soon as he came on stage I started shouting "You fat bastard! You fat bastard!" Then I was told by security that that sort of behaviour wasn't tolerated at the Labour party conference.

A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he's pulled over by the police. The police officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking Sir?" "No. Why?" replies the man. "Was I all over the road?" "No," replies the officer, "You were driving splendidly. It was the ugly fat bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious."

*Here you go America! This one's for you. AND you'll be able to understand it!* Yo momma's so fat... she must be American.

All Americans are fat cunts.

I find all these obese jokes horrible. Don't you think they have enough on their plate?

I got arrested for kicking the shit out of some fat bastard last week. It turns out Fat Fighters isn't quite what I thought it was.

Apparently clumsy people are more likely to be obese thats because they keep walking into things.... like McDonalds

People say you shouldn't be mean to Michelle McManus - after all, she recently lost six stone! Yeah but, to be fair, that's like throwing a deck chair off the Titantic.

What's black and runs into walls? Jordan's baby.

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