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| A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "can I smell your pussy?" The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "certainly not!" "Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your Camel then". |    |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Vagina - Tagged vagina , feet , pussy - Current Score: 124 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Just had a holiday in Jersey, but found it hard to relax with all those kids under my feet | |
Joke by ht, in Celebrity and news events > Jersey Childrens Home - Tagged jersey , kids , feet - Current Score: 103 - Added: 5 months, 30 days ago
| I swept this bird off her feet today. Roundhouse kick to the tits usually does it. | |
Joke by grammer_natzee, in Sex and shit > Sexist - Tagged bird , sexist , kick , roundhouse , tits , feet , woman , man , sexism , grammer_natzee - Current Score: 87 - Added: 2 months, 25 days ago
| On their wedding night, young Diane says to new hubby, "if you don't remove your socks, I am not getting in bed at all." Hubby is determined not to remove the socks. Diane argues he is perhaps kinky! Hubby eventually gives in. "Alright," he says, "I have hid this from you all through our courting days, though. Look." Removing the socks, one foot is only half there! "I lost it during an accident at work," he explains, "it embarrasses me." Diane runs down stairs. Ever so upset she telephones her Mum. Sobbing on the phone, she cries to her Mum, "he only has a foot and a half!" Mother replies, "hang on, young lady. You pack your bags and get back home, tell him I am on my way over!" | |
Joke by NUFC, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged feet , sex , mother - Current Score: 40 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, "You, foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop!" So the couple walked in. "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in," the Jamaican said to them. "Dey make you wild at sex." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the "sex god" that he was. "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?" the husband asked the shopkeeper. "Just try dem on, Mon," the Jamaican replied. After some badgering from his wife, the man finally gave in and tried the sandals on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes ... something his wife hadn't seen in many years! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, quickly bent him over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips. At which point the Jamaican began screaming... "YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET, MON! YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!" | |
Joke by staffer, in Sex and shit > Feet - Tagged feet , wrong , jamaican , sandals , jamaica , jim davidson - Current Score: 33 - Added: 2 months, 24 days ago
| I was walking along the road when I saw a man who had no feet. I went over and kicked the shit out of him. It's because I'm lack-toes intolerant. | |
Joke by sgs, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged feet , lactose , intolerant - Current Score: 20 - Added: 2 months, 8 days ago
| Three sisters, Monica, Phoebe and Fanny are invited to a party, so all three go and buy new dancing shoes. Monica buys size 9, Phoebe buys size 10, and Fanny buys a manly size 14. At the party Fanny sits alone watching her two sisters hoofing it up, when two guys approach them and say, "Wow, those are big feet!" Monica and Phoebe reply, "If you think these are big, wait till you see our Fanny's!" | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Sex and shit > Cunt - Tagged sisters , party , feet , fannys - Current Score: 12 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Why have elephants got 4 feet? Cos they'd look fucking stupid with 3 inches! | |
Joke by soggy bear, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged elephant , feet , inches - Current Score: 7 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A lot of women believe you can tell the size of a man's penis by the size of his feet. This is also why I always buy my shoes from clown shops. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged penis , penis size , feet , clown - Current Score: 5 - Added: 5 days ago
| Who said, "Defeat is OK"? Idi Amin's chiropodist | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Jokes with no home > Idi Amin - Tagged feet , idi amin , chiropodist , defeat - Current Score: -1 - Added: 3 months, 24 days ago
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