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| Ferrari's Formula 1 team manager decided to employ some Liverpudlian teenagers as their pit crew. This was because of their renowned skill at removing car wheels quickly. At the first practice session, not only did they change all 4 wheels in 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged & sold the fucker to the McLaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed & some pictures of David Coulthard's bird getting shagged up the arse. |    |
Joke by chelsea_steve, in Religion and racism > Scousers - Tagged scousers , formula 1 , sport , liverpool , ferrari , mclaren , car , car thieves - Current Score: 133 - Added: 1 year ago
| Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000'" The Indian replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'" | |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > Ferrari - Tagged ferrari , loan , bank , street , new york - Current Score: 113 - Added: 3 months ago
| Ferrari Formula 1 Team have announced that they have fired their entire Pit Crew yesterday. The action followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British Government's Work For the Dole Scheme and hire unemployed youths from Liverpool. The decision was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed Scousers were able to remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds with just a pair of mole grips each. Whereas Ferrari's exisiting crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high-tech equipment. This was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Ferrari management. As most modern day F1 races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari are seen to now have a massive advantage over every other team! Ferrari, however, got more than they bargained for today in the Scouse Crews first practice session. Not only were they able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had also resprayed, rebadged, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren Team for four dozen cans of Special Brew, a gram of Coke and a quick shuffty at David Coulthard's bird in the shower! BINDUN | |
Joke by niggers out, in Jokes with no home > Formula 1 - Tagged f1 , scousers , liverpool , ferrari , coulthard , pits , pitstop - Current Score: 49 - Added: 3 months ago
| Little Johnny was playing with something in the road. The local vicar came up to him and said, "hello, little Johnny. What's that your playing with?" Little Johnny replied, "it`s Sulphuric acid." "You mustn't play with that," gasped the vicar, "it's dangerous" Little Johhny says,"hey, I don't tell you not to play with holy water!" The vicar says, "no, because holy water is good. The other day I put holy water on a pregnant woman's tummy and she passed a baby boy." "Well..." says little Johnny "...the other day I put Sulphuric Acid on my dogs Bollocks and he passed a Ferrari." | |
Joke by Lovelace, in Sex and shit > Little Johnny - Tagged vicar , acid , dog , bollocks , ferrari - Current Score: 26 - Added: 6 months ago
| A BOTTLE OF MERLOT A gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an attractive woman. The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender. She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants." After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the wait e! r and instructed him to return this to the woman. It read: "For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my garages, beautiful homes in California , Aspen , Colorado and Miami . There are over twenty million dollars in my checking account.. BUT, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off. Send the bottle back!" | |
Joke by ht, in Jokes with no home > wine - Tagged advice , bottle , ferrari , millionaire , wine , cock , difficult women - Current Score: 18 - Added: 8 months ago
| Lewis Hamilton: the first black man not to steal the Ferrari he hits up the arse at a red light....! | |
Joke by mikey1964, in Celebrity and news events > Lewis Hamilton, F1 - Tagged black , hamilton , ferrari - Current Score: 16 - Added: 1 month ago
| A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about £50?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.” A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the £50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.” | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Religion and racism > Blondes - Tagged blonde , porch , ferrari , odd jobs - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 year ago
| The Ferrari formula 1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the UK Government's Youth Opportunity Scheme and employ people from Liverpool . The decision to hire them followed a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from the Liverpool area were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Ferrari's existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds with millions of euros worth of high tech equipment. Prime Minister Gordon Brown went on record as saying this was a bold move by the Ferrari management which demonstrated the international recognition of the UK under New Labour. As most races are won and lost in the pits, Ferrari thought they had the advantage over every team. However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for. At the first practice session, the Liverpool pit crew successfully changed the tyres in less than 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had re-sprayed, re-badged, and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team for 8 bottles of Stella, a kilo of speed and some photos of Coulthard's bird in the shower. | |
Joke by rampant, in Religion and racism > Scousers - Tagged ferrari , liverpool - Current Score: 9 - Added: 2 months ago
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