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| My grandad was given 24 hours to live, so he drank a bottle of vodka and ate three packets of fireworks. It didn't save his life, but it gave us one hell of a show at the cremation. |    |
Joke by The Wolf, in Illness and mortality > Cremation - Tagged cremation , fireworks , vodka , grandad , ill , dead - Current Score: 122 - Added: 4 months ago
| I like to do my bit for old people... Like letting off fireworks at 2am on the old people's estate so they don't die in their sleep. | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged old people , fireworks - Current Score: 63 - Added: 7 months, 29 days ago
| Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disneyland Paris? Because every time they set them off the French try to surrender. | |
Joke by superhorse, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged french , disneyland , paris , fireworks - Current Score: 46 - Added: 8 months ago
| The Georgian government today denied any attempt to outdo the Beijing Olympic firework display... | |
Joke by Katherine Boyle, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged georgia , olympics , fireworks , chinese - Current Score: 18 - Added: 3 months ago
| "Police arrested two kids yesterday: one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off." - By the late great Tommy Cooper | |
Joke by Cay6098, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged police , fireworks - Current Score: 17 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Retailers say there could be a shortage of fireworks for Bonfire Night because Chinese manufacturers used so many for the Beijing Olympics. In fact there are worries there will be none left at all for November 5th if Jade Goody dies before then. | |
Joke by itchyanus, in Celebrity and news events > Jade Goody - Tagged bonfire night , fireworks , jade goody - Current Score: 14 - Added: 2 months ago
| On November 5th, it will be the first anniversary of my Wife catching me fucking our Daughter. God, there were fireworks that night. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Sex and shit > Bonfire Night - Tagged wife , daughter , fireworks - Current Score: 12 - Added: 1 month ago
| For todays Olympic Closing Ceremony, the French National Squad is to be sedated in an attempt to stop them running out of the Stadium during the firework finale. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Olympics - Tagged french , chicken shit , surrender , run , olympics , fireworks - Current Score: 7 - Added: 2 months, 29 days ago
| January 25th is Burns Night in Scotland. November 5th is Burns night at my local Hospital. | |
Joke by mallatar, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged burns , fireworks , hospital - Current Score: 4 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| It was the night after bonfire night and their was a class of children and the teacher wanted to know what they all did. The teacher: William what did you do last night?. william: My dad bought me some fireworks and we had fun outside my house. teacher: very good. tommy what did you do?. tommy: my mum bought me some sparkelers. teacher: very nice. billy what did you do?. billy: i stuck bangers up chickens arses miss. teacher: rectum billy rectum. billy: yes miss i blew their fuking head off. | |
Joke by mc ryno, in Jokes with no home > Chickens - Tagged chicken , fireworks - Current Score: 2 - Added: 1 month ago
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