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| A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." This catches the blonde's attention, and- to keep him quiet- she agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all references. He uses the Airphone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde takes the $500 and goes back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes her up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep. |    |
Joke by ht, in Celebrity and news events > viagra - Tagged lawyer , blonde , flight , money - Current Score: 226 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. "This is exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person." Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff. Shortly after take-off, the Pope began a crossword puzzle. "This is fantastic," thought the gentleman. "I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance." Almost immediately, the Pope turned to the gentleman and said, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends with the letters 'u-n-t?'" Only one word leapt to mind! "My goodness," thought the gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word." The gentleman thought for quite a while, then it hit him. Turning to the pope, the gentleman said, "I think the word you're looking for is 'aunt'." "Of course," said the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?" | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Pope - Tagged pope , flight , plane - Current Score: 97 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A guy sitting at a bar at Heathrow Terminal 3 noticed a really beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself: "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be an off duty flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?" Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta slogan: "Love to fly and it shows?" She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself: "Damn, she doesn't work for Delta." A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?" She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself, and scratched Singapore Airlines off the list. Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan: "Smooth as Silk." This time the woman turned on him, "What the fuck do you want?" The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, and said "Ahhhhh, EasyJet". | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Jokes with no home > Afterbirth - Tagged air hostess , easy jet , flight , aiport - Current Score: 79 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Paddy phones Easyjet to book a flight.... "certainly sir" replies the assistant... "and how many will be flying with you Mr O'Toole" Paddy replies " how the fuck should I know its your plane?" | |
Joke by beez, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged plane , flying , paddy , flight - Current Score: 47 - Added: 2 months ago
| If the McCanns really wanted to make the body of Madeleine vanish without trace, they should just have checked it in as hold luggage on a Ryanair flight. | |
Joke by NUFC, in Celebrity and news events > A Levels - Tagged madeleine , madeleine mccann , maddie , flight - Current Score: 18 - Added: 10 months ago
| Pilot: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. The weather is good and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. OH MY GOD...." Pilot: (Five minutes later) "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking, the flight attendent spilled hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants." Passenger: "That's nothing! You should see the back of mine." | |
Joke by CocaCola, in Jokes with no home > Airlines - Tagged pilot , passenger , coffee , flight , poo , shit - Current Score: 17 - Added: 8 months ago
| It takes two men ten minutes to check in for their flight. How long will it take Ahmed and Imran? | |
Joke by dandan, in Religion and racism > Taliban - Tagged flight , paki - Current Score: 16 - Added: 1 month ago
| Priest was seated next to Paddy on a flight. Paddy ordered a Rum & Coke. The flight attendant asked the Priest if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips." Paddy handed his drink back and said "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice. | |
Joke by peeps, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged priest , paddy , liquor , flight - Current Score: 10 - Added: 6 months ago
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