Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Showing all jokes.
| A man walks into a pub and finds a jar full of money on the counter. He asks the landlord what its for. The landlord replies every night we have a contest that you have to complete three tasks to win all the money in the jar. The man asks what are the tasks First the landlord points to a six foot twenty stone bouncer on the door. You see that bouncer over there? You have to go over and take him out with one punch. Then, well, theres our alsatian out the back. He's had a sore tooth for the last month and all you have to do is pull it out. Finally, my gran is upstairs. She's 80 and hasnt had sex for twenty years. You have to go and satisfy her every desire, but you have to put down ten pounds to play. Later after plenty of drinks, the man staggers up to the counter, slaps down a ten pound note and says right Im in. He staggers over to the bouncer and swings. One punch and hes out cold. Then he staggers out the back and for the next ten minutes all that can be heard is the sound of snarling, yelling. grunting, swearing and finally yelping. Then the man staggers back in, clothes in tatters, covered in blood, goes over to the landlord and says right wheres the granny with the sore tooth. |    |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Drunken - Tagged granny , alsatian , pub , drunk , foot - Current Score: 117 - Added: 8 months ago
| I showed this bird my dick the other night. She said, "that's small, I thought you said you had at least a foot." I said, "no, I said I had athlete's foot!" | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged bird , dick , foot - Current Score: 110 - Added: 5 months ago
| A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's apartment. "I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all." "Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes," said the midget. The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she'd ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times. "If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!" | |
Joke by cooperman, in Sex and shit > Orgasm - Tagged midget , sex , leg , legs , foot , woman - Current Score: 44 - Added: 9 months ago
| What's the difference between Princess Diana and a beautiful bed of flowers? About six foot | |
Joke by staffer, in Celebrity and news events > Diana - Tagged foot , diana , grass , difference - Current Score: 33 - Added: 4 months ago
| Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork. Paddy says, "Are you on foot or in the car?" Billy says, "In the car." Paddy says, "That's the quickest way." | |
Joke by rob09, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged paddy , billy , dublin , cork , car , foot - Current Score: 26 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I walked into the Chiropodists this morning, undid my fly and dropped my dick on the receptionist’s counter... "That's not a foot!! she said... "I know but it's a good eleven inches!!!" | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged chiropodist , dick , foot , sex - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A salesman in a strange city was feeling horny and wanted release. He inquired for the address of a good house of ill repute. He was told to go to 225 Westland St. By mistake, he went to 255 Westland St, the office of a podiatrist. Being met by a beautiful woman in a white uniform surprised but intrigued him. She directed him to an examining room and told him to uncover and someone would be with him soon. He loved the thought of the table and the reclining chair and was really getting aroused because of the strange and different approach this house offered. Finally the doctor's assistant, a really gorgeous redhead entered and found him sitting in the chair with his large member in his hand. "My goodness", she exclaimed, "I was expecting to see a foot." "Well," he said, "if you're going to complain about an inch then I'll take my business elsewhere." | |
Joke by pdf1, in Sex and shit > Feet - Tagged podiatrist , foot , dick - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Disney have announced that Heather Mills will be touring in the musical version of their hit film Happy Foot. | |
Joke by flies, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather , mills , happy , foot , leg , penguin - Current Score: 0 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
The-Joker got buried to -7. Reveal Joke
Showing all jokes.
Custurd spent 0.12ms doing 11 queries and 0.09s processing. She's 2.51% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel