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| I just dont get it, everyone goes on about David Beckham being thick...... but no cunt says anything about Stephen Hawking being shit at football do they?! |    |
Joke by adam6177, in Celebrity and news events > David Beckham - Tagged david beckham , stephen hawking , football - Current Score: 482 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| David Blaine is apparently gutted at the minute. He has discovered his 44 day record of doing fuck all in a box has been smashed by Michael Owen. | |
Joke by niggers out, in Celebrity and news events > Michael Owen - Tagged owen , football , blaine , box , record , keegan , newcastle , geordies - Current Score: 458 - Added: 4 months ago
| I can't fucking stand Mark Lawrenson. If I want someone to constantly interrupt my enjoyment of the football with pointless, witless, ill-informed shite then I'll get a girlfriend. | |
Joke by erniehill, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged football , girlfriend , liverpool , euro 2008 , germany , spain , german , spanish - Current Score: 204 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| What's nine inches long and dangles in front of a cunt? Steve McLaren's tie | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Celebrity and news events > Football - Tagged football , soccer , mcclaren , cunt - Current Score: 200 - Added: 8 months ago
| A man walked into the vegetable section of his local supermarket and asked for half a head of lettuce. The boy working there told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy asked his manager about the matter. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some tosser wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later, the manager found the boy and said, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from son?" "Originally from Essex sir," the boy replied. "Why did you leave Essex?" the manager asked. The boy answered, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and footballers there." "Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Essex." "No shit!" the boy replied. "Who does she play for?" | |
Joke by stopher, in Jokes with no home > Football - Tagged supermarket , job , tosser , football - Current Score: 198 - Added: 7 months ago
| Ann Summers has brought out a new lubricant called KY Terry. It's designed to help you slip in the box more easily. | |
Joke by REVOL, in Celebrity and news events > John Terry - Tagged football , sports , chelsea , john terry - Current Score: 175 - Added: 1 month, 30 days ago
| Chelsea losing the Champions League final wasn't such a bad thing for Frank Lampard - he'd had a few weeks to practice his sad face. | |
Joke by stupot64, in Celebrity and news events > Frank Lampard - Tagged frank lampard , chelsea , football , dead mum - Current Score: 174 - Added: 2 months ago
| What would Peter Crouch be if he wasn't a Premiership footballer? a virgin | |
Joke by hiraeth, in Celebrity and news events > peter crouch - Tagged football , crouch , virgin - Current Score: 170 - Added: 7 months ago
| A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other. Sandy approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?" "Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the fucking goalie." | |
Joke by Sticky, in Religion and racism > Blondes - Tagged goalie , blonde , school , football , stupid - Current Score: 162 - Added: 8 months ago
| Manchester United have cancelled their open-top tour bus. A spokesman said that, after paying so much getting to Moscow, you can't expect fans to travel all the way to Manchester too. | |
Joke by jmtRyan, in Jokes with no home > ? - Tagged united , moscow , bus , football - Current Score: 154 - Added: 2 months ago
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