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| An elderly English gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready." The English gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. All Englishmen have to show their passports on arrival in France !" The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D- Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any fucking Frenchmen to show it to" |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged paris , plane , d-day , france , english , passport , bag , immigration , juno beach , 1944 - Current Score: 1734 - Added: 6 months, 11 days ago
| What did France used to be called ? Germany, until the Brits saved them. | |
Joke by mamma mia, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged france , french , germany - Current Score: 223 - Added: 1 month, 29 days ago
| America the home of the brave?! That must be compared to France. | |
Joke by albinobob123, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged america , brave , france , albinobob - Current Score: 181 - Added: 2 months, 17 days ago
| A man asks his friend, "what's the most common French expression?" His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!" | |
Joke by meathmick82, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged france , surrender - Current Score: 145 - Added: 1 month, 16 days ago
| Where can you find 64,000,000 French jokes? France | |
Joke by sgs, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged french , france , frogs - Current Score: 128 - Added: 3 months, 7 days ago
| Britain and America have always had this special relationship. The special relationship being that neither of us could be arsed to learn French. | |
Joke by bluedishwasher, in Jokes with no home > Arseholes - Tagged america , britain , france , marcus bridgestocke - Current Score: 94 - Added: 1 month, 11 days ago
| Ireland Declares War on France Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings. "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is meself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!" Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor." Chirac sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke." "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you." Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!" Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!" "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back." Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war." "Really? I am sorry to hear that Paddy," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and decided there is no freakin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged ireland , war , france , chirac , guinness , jesus , mary , paddy - Current Score: 85 - Added: 6 months, 17 days ago
| If war was to break out in Europe, this time I think the loser should be made to keep France. | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged france , war , loser , europe - Current Score: 84 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| I saw a load of Polish people the other day. I said to one of them, "why the fuck don't you lot go to France instead?" He said, "'cos, every time the French see a pole they stick a white flag on it!" | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Religion and racism > Poles / Polish - Tagged polish , france - Current Score: 52 - Added: 1 month, 18 days ago
| What's yellow and looks good on the French? The advanced stages of cancer. | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged french , racism , racist , france , illness , cancer , cruel - Current Score: 50 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
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