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| I can't believe how much the price of food has gone up in the past couple of years. Now anybody having their 5-a-day is just showing off. |    |
Joke by dandan, in Jokes with no home > Inflation - Tagged inflation , food , 5aday , fruit , frankie boyle - Current Score: 109 - Added: 2 months ago
| What can turn a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS. | |
Joke by caliban, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged gay , aids , hiv , homophobia , gay sex , sex , arse , fruit , vegetable , veg - Current Score: 64 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| How do you make a fruit cordial? Compliment his shoes. | |
Joke by Elke, in Jokes with no home > Your Mom - Tagged fruit , cordial , shoes - Current Score: 57 - Added: 3 months ago
| Two men are shipwrecked and manage to make it onto an uncharted island where they are approached by a large group of cannibals who can amazingly speak English. The cannibals tell them that they have a chance to live on this island without being eaten so long as they pass the "Ordeal of Fruit", the surviors accept the challenge with little pondering and the Cannibals send the pair off to individually collect one hundred pieces of fruit each and then report back to them. The first survivor returns with one hundred grapes and cannibals instruct him to shove each grape into his anus without wincing or laughing or he will be killed on the spot. However just as the first grape reaches his butt hole he bursts out laughing. The cannibals ask why he is laughing and he replies "I'm sorry, it's just that my friend is collecting pineapples!" | |
Joke by D dude, in Jokes with no home > Cannibals - Tagged cannibal , ship wreck , grape , pineapple , fruit - Current Score: 50 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| What's the difference between Bananaman and Superman? One's a fruit, one's a vegetable. | |
Joke by ht, in Illness and mortality > Spastics - Tagged bananaman , superman , vegtable , fruit - Current Score: 46 - Added: 1 year ago
| A rather posh lady went shopping down the local market. She stopped at the fruit stall and asked; "Where are those apples from?" "Zimbabwe, madam." Came the reply. "Oh good heavens! I couldn't buy from Zimbabwe, I do have principles." "Don't blame you love," said the man. "All those dirty little black hands mauling 'em!" | |
Joke by Boogaloo, in Celebrity and news events > Zimbabwe - Tagged blacks , zimbabwe , market , lady , fruit , shopping - Current Score: 43 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago
| Government approved information indicates that you have to eat five portions of fruit and veg a day to stay healthy. Yesterday I ate five mouldy plums and I shat the bed. How is that healthy? | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Food - Tagged fruit , five a day - Current Score: 26 - Added: 7 months ago
| What do rhubarb and cocks have in common? Both are long, thin, covered in skin, pink in the middle and go in tarts. | |
Joke by mycockisbiggerthanyours, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged long , thi , skin , pink , tarts , cock , dick , penis , rhubarb , fruit , food , sex - Current Score: 19 - Added: 9 months ago
| How do you make a fruit punch? Rip the piss out of his boyfriend. | |
Joke by BFN33, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged poof , fruit , queer - Current Score: 18 - Added: 4 months ago
| While I agree with a healthier Britain, I'm totally against the Government's statement on four fruits a day. I've worn myself out trawling all the gay pubs and clubs and, on top of that, my fucking arsehole is shot to shit. | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged arsehole , gays , fruit , government - Current Score: 15 - Added: 4 months ago
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