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| Knock Knock? Who's there? 9/11... 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget, you bastard! |    |
Joke by FengShuiNinja, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged knock knock jokes , 9-11 , never forget , fsn - Current Score: 105 - Added: 10 months ago
| The other day I walked into my local chemists, and asked the manager if they sold Vaseline. "No, I'm afraid we're out of stock at the moment, have you tried boots?" I looked at him and said "Don't be daft, I wanna slide in, not fucking march in!" | |
Joke by FengShuiNinja, in Sex and shit > Vaseline - Tagged chemist , boots , vaseline , fsn - Current Score: 105 - Added: 11 months ago
| Angus, a Scottish farmer, was walking through his field and saw a man drinking from the stream. He shouts over, in Gaelic, "Hey, don't drink the water, friend, the sheep have got the runs!" The man turns round and says, "What did you say? I'm English, I don't speak your stupid language!" "Ach well!" shouts back the farmer. "I said 'Use both hands, you'll be able to drink more of my wonderfully fresh stream!.....Gle mhath, a shassanach." | |
Joke by FengShuiNinja, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged english , scottish , sheep , water , language , racism , fsn - Current Score: 83 - Added: 11 months ago
| Why do blonde girls have bruises around their belly buttons? Blonde guys ain't that smart, either! | |
Joke by FengShuiNinja, in Religion and racism > Blondes - Tagged blonde girls , blonde guys , blondes , bruises , fsn - Current Score: 24 - Added: 10 months ago
| Sherlock Holmes, the great detective, and his faithful companion, Dr. Watson, go on holiday in the south of France, camping. On the first night, Holmes nudges Watson in his sleeping bag, and wakes him. "Tell me, Watson, when you look up at the stars, what do you see? What does the night sky tell you?" Thinking it to be some kind of riddle, or personality test, Watson thinks for a moment, before answering. "Meteorologically, the sky tells me it is a clear, cloudless night, and the weather will be fine for the next day. Astronomically, Venus has entered the House of the Moon, while Astrologically, it appears that Capricorns should not attempt any personal upheaval this month, but Sagittariuses can expect a windfall to come their way. Religiously, it tells me that the Lord has worked long and hard to create the best world he can, and philosophically it makes me feel very small in a massive universe." At this, he turned to Holmes and smiled, saying "What does it tell you?" "It tells me, my dear Watson, that some swine has pinched our tent!" | |
Joke by FengShuiNinja, in Jokes with no home > Sherlock Holmes - Tagged sherlock holmes , dr watson , camping , sky , meteorology , astology , astronomy , religion , philosophy , theft , fsn - Current Score: 19 - Added: 10 months ago
| Peter Sutcliffe took his latest prostitute out to a new cocktail bar in Yorkshire. When the bartender asked her what she wanted, she turned to Peter and said "Can I have a Screwdriver?" He looks at her for a second and says "Well, it's a bit of a change for me, but I'm sure I can cope with it!" | |
Joke by FengShuiNinja, in Celebrity and news events > Yorkshire Ripper - Tagged peter sutcliffe , yorkshire ripper , ripper , screwdriver , cocktail , bar , hammer , prostitute , whore , fsn - Current Score: 12 - Added: 11 months ago
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