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| A judge asks a surly defendant if he has anything to say for himself. The defendant mutters, "fuck all." "What did you say?" asks the judge. The court clerk turns to the judge and says, "the defendant said, 'fuck all', your honour." "Really?" replies the judge, "I could have sworn I saw his lips move." |    |
Joke by tony.t, in Jokes with no home > Court - Tagged court , without a home , judge , swearing , cunt , fuckers , lawyers , all , twats , legal - Current Score: 82 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Teacher asks the class to go home and come back on Monday with a story that has a moral to it. Come Monday morning, the teacher asks for anyone with a story to put their hand up. Little Johnny's hand is first up but the teacher ignores him and points to Jane and says, "tell us your story, Jane" "Well, miss, I went to my nan's farm and in the morning I collected all the eggs in a basket. When I got into the house some had broken, the moral to the story being: don't gather all your eggs in one basket." "Very good," teacher says. Little Johnny is turning red with frustration but the teacher asks David for his story. "Well, miss, I to went to my nanny's and when I got there she had a toy soldier I had been waiting for for weeks, the moral being: good things come to those who wait." "Very good," teacher says. She knows Johnny isn't going to give up so she lets him tell his story. "Well, miss, I, like the others, went to my Grandad's and he told me that he was a desert rat in the war and he got lost and was surrounded by fifteen Germans. He only had six bullets, his bayonet and a bottle of whiskey; so he drank the whiskey, shot six Germans and bayoneted the rest to death." At this Johnny sat down and the teacher asks, "what is the moral to your story, Johnny?" Johnny jumps up and says, "the moral is: don't fuck with my grandad when he's pissed." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > 2 Girls 1 Cup - Tagged germans , war , death , fighting , krauts , cunts , fuckers , pricks , morals , all , sex and shit - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| On my way home from work, I saw a police car trying to edge into the line of traffic, so I flashed it. Fuckers arrested me for indecent exposure. | |
Joke by bawbag, in Sex and shit > Flasher - Tagged police , flasher , fuckers - Current Score: 5 - Added: 3 days ago
purespasticated got buried to -5. Reveal Joke
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