I was in my local last night, and saw this young girl, very attractive, you know the sort. I went over, bought her a drink, and we got chatting.
A few hours later, I offered to walk her home. On the way, I suggested that she come back to mine instead, as it was a cold night, looked like it was going to rain, and my house was a lot closer. She obviously knew what I had in mind, as that was the point she told me she was a Catholic, and refused to have sex before marriage.
I kept on s [...]

I was in my local last night, and saw this young girl, very attractive, you know the sort. I went over, bought her a drink, and we got chatting.
A few hours later, I offered to walk her home. On the way, I suggested that she come back to mine instead, as it was a cold night, looked like it was going to rain, and my house was a lot closer. She obviously knew what I had in mind, as that was the point she told me she was a Catholic, and refused to have sex before marriage.
I kept on suggesting, and eventually she'd had enough. She turned to me and said, "Look you pervert, I have made a commitment to God, which I shall not break."
Enraged, I hit her and dragged her down a nearby alley, and proceeded to rip at her clothes. She kept screaming "The Holy Father will protect me!"
Funnily enough, He didn't.