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| The average German wakes up at 6:23 am. Well it's difficult to sleep with all that on your conscience. |    |
Joke by jazza l s, in Religion and racism > German - Tagged germans , jimmy carr , holocaust - Current Score: 157 - Added: 3 months, 19 days ago
| Opened my curtains this morning to see a German Shepherd having a shit in my back garden. When I looked again, I noticed he'd brought his fucking dog with him too! | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged shit , shepards , germans - Current Score: 89 - Added: 7 months ago
| Why did the Germans cross the road? To occupy France. | |
Joke by Racistbastard, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged road , germans - Current Score: 74 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| I'm pissed off with the Germans: during the war the buggers bombed our chip shops. Where are they now when we've got a bloody Indian take-away on every corner? | |
Joke by baldlice, in Religion and racism > German - Tagged corner , indian , take away , germans , bombed , war - Current Score: 38 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I see the French have done an arms deal with the Germans... Here's how it works: The Germans invade and the French put their arms up. | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged french , germans - Current Score: 17 - Added: 2 months, 25 days ago
| Americans often say to Brits, "if it wasn't for us you'd be speaking German now". Not me - I'm shit at languages. | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Religion and racism > German - Tagged germans , americans , language , war - Current Score: 15 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Teacher asks the class to go home and come back on Monday with a story that has a moral to it. Come Monday morning, the teacher asks for anyone with a story to put their hand up. Little Johnny's hand is first up but the teacher ignores him and points to Jane and says, "tell us your story, Jane" "Well, miss, I went to my nan's farm and in the morning I collected all the eggs in a basket. When I got into the house some had broken, the moral to the story being: don't gather all your eggs in one basket." "Very good," teacher says. Little Johnny is turning red with frustration but the teacher asks David for his story. "Well, miss, I to went to my nanny's and when I got there she had a toy soldier I had been waiting for for weeks, the moral being: good things come to those who wait." "Very good," teacher says. She knows Johnny isn't going to give up so she lets him tell his story. "Well, miss, I, like the others, went to my Grandad's and he told me that he was a desert rat in the war and he got lost and was surrounded by fifteen Germans. He only had six bullets, his bayonet and a bottle of whiskey; so he drank the whiskey, shot six Germans and bayoneted the rest to death." At this Johnny sat down and the teacher asks, "what is the moral to your story, Johnny?" Johnny jumps up and says, "the moral is: don't fuck with my grandad when he's pissed." | |
Joke by tony.t, in Sex and shit > Little Johnny - Tagged germans , war , death , fighting , krauts , cunts , fuckers , pricks , morals , all , sex and shit - Current Score: 14 - Added: 1 year ago
| What do you call a German baked bean? Heinz. | |
Joke by Jasper_Scotland, in Jokes with no home > Food - Tagged food , joke , germans , beans - Current Score: 5 - Added: 1 year ago
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