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| How do you recognise an Irish rape suspect? He steps out of the line and says "That's the girl!!" |    |
Joke by cooperman, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged paddy , semtex , drink , girls , feck , arse - Current Score: 63 - Added: 8 months ago
| A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt. The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"! Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop" Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter. The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans" Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size" She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter. The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mum waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways" Mum took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA. The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways." Mum fainted! | |
Joke by maine787, in Sex and shit > Virgin - Tagged girls , married , sex - Current Score: 56 - Added: 8 months ago
| One day three teenage girls were driving along when they had a terrible accident and died. They were all sent to heaven. At the gates, they met St. Peter. He said to them, "Welcome to Heaven. There is only one rule here, don't step on the ducks, don't bother them, just leave them alone. If you do bother them in any way you will be handcuffed to the ugliest person in Heaven for all eternity." The first teen thought that this was rather funny and in all her laughter stepped back almost falling over. "QUACK!" She had stepped on a duck and so she was handcuffed to the ugliest person in heaven. The other two teens walked around Heaven constantly torturing their unlucky friend. As fate would have it the second teen stepped on a duck also. She was handcuffed to the second ugliest person in Heaven. The two girls sat moping at the fact that they were chained to these people for eternity. The next day they saw the third teen, she was handcuffed to the most gorgeous guy they had ever seen. She looked at them, realizing their questioning eyes, and said, "He stepped on a duck." | |
Joke by Gobshite, in Religion and racism > Heaven - Tagged ducks , heaven , girls - Current Score: 50 - Added: 9 months ago
| I must apologise to all Americans who happen to be out there reading these jokes, we must never forget that Americans, like most other people, are needed. They are needed for entertainment, target practice, setting the standards for international IQ's, providing weapons to middle east countries, spreading mass panic at airports (although Muslims helped), and last but equal to all else - providing easy girls to fuck! | |
Joke by Widow Maker, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged middle east , weapons , girls , americans , iq , airports , muslims - Current Score: 46 - Added: 2 months ago
| Why is Santa Claus always smiling? Because he knows where all the bad girls live. | |
Joke by exce, in Jokes with no home > Santa - Tagged sex , girls , santa claus - Current Score: 39 - Added: 9 months ago
| Wise old saying: Girls who use their heads can stop the population explosion. | |
Joke by peeps, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged girls , population , heads - Current Score: 35 - Added: 6 months ago
| I don't know, the young girls of today, all they want to do is be groped, touched, spoken dirty to and generally sexually abused ............................... Don't they? | |
Joke by staffer, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged abused , dirty , groped , girls - Current Score: 30 - Added: 2 months ago
| 8 Things Girls should say to Guys. 1. I'm bored let's shave my pussy. 2. Have you had enough to drink? 3. That fart was great, do another. 4. Of course I'll swallow it I love it. 5. No that's OK, you drink beer & watch porn, I'll do the washing up. 6. Just for a change pop it up me arse? 7. How about you get that girl from work to join us? 8. Marriage? No way! Carlsberg don't do girlfriends... | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged girls , carlsberg , swallow , pussy , beer , girlfriends - Current Score: 25 - Added: 9 months ago
| The papers at the end of August are full of results pictures, all of which show smiling, fashionably dressed pretty girls getting their A Level results. Where do these girls go? By the time the new students start University a month later they have all transformed into greasy, ugly lads and overweight girls in black eyeliner and secondhand jumpers. | |
Joke by twayne, in Celebrity and news events > A Levels - Tagged students , ugly , pretty , girls - Current Score: 25 - Added: 2 days ago
| In the news this week: the Jersey nightclub that's banned fat girls. How the fuck am I gonna get laid now. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Fat - Tagged news , jersey , nightclub , girls , laid - Current Score: 24 - Added: 3 weeks ago
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