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| I'm going to go rob a bank tomorrow. I plan on dressing up in a clown wig and make up and only wearing a thong and nipple tassels. I'll carry a goat and a can of fluorescent paint in one arm and, while in the bank, I'm going to fuck the goat and throw the paint over the walls, all the time ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off. After getting the money, I'll take a shit on the floor and piss everywhere. I then will escape in a van shaped like a giant pink cock. Let's see Crimewatch fucking stage a reconstruction of that. |    |
Joke by DumbShit, in Jokes with no home > Crime - Tagged bank , thief , goat , crimewatch , clown - Current Score: 705 - Added: 3 days ago
| George devoted his entire life to the small Greek village in which he lived and, at 93 and on his death-bed, was soon to die in. He motioned to his great grandson to whisper his final words.... "Stavros", he said faintly, "You know the only bridge that leads into our tiny village? Well I designed, funded and built it, but they don't call me 'George the Bridge Builder'". "You know the town hospital? I designed and built that too, but they don't call me 'George the Hospital Builder'". "And the only church in town.... I built that too, and they don't call me 'George the Church Builder', but you get caught fucking just one goat......." | |
Joke by poosmellsyucky, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged bestiality , goat , greek - Current Score: 63 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| One thing I don't like about Facebook is that they broadcast to the whole world every subtle change you make to your profile. Normally this is no big deal until your friends start reading too much into certain news feeds like... "Ryan has left the group 'I have never had sex with a goat'" | |
Joke by Kronikle, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged facebook , goat , sex , internet - Current Score: 34 - Added: 1 month, 17 days ago
| Did you hear about the dyslexic who went to a toga party dressed as a goat? | |
Joke by Grobie, in Illness and mortality > Dyslexia - Tagged dyslexic , toga , goat - Current Score: 29 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| I just don't understand my wife, the other night she told me to treat her like a godess. Then she went fucking mental when I sacrificed a goat in her honour. | |
Joke by Aye-same, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , goat , godess - Current Score: 22 - Added: 5 months, 10 days ago
| 1200 people attended the recent International Psychic Society conference. Moderator: "How many attendees believe in ghosts?" (Over 80% of the hands were raised) Moderator: "How many have actually seen a ghost?" (58% of the hands were raised) Moderator: "How many believe that a ghost can be solid?" (23% of the hands were raised) Moderator: "How many have ever physically touched a ghost?" (3% of the hands were raised) Moderator: "How many have ever had sex with a ghost?" (After some pause one lonely hand at the back of the hall went up) Moderator: "May I ask where you are from, sir?" Attendee: "I am from America." Moderator: "And you say you've had sex with a ghost?" Attendee: "Oh sorry! I thought you said "goat." | |
Joke by mess, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged goat , american , goat sex - Current Score: 22 - Added: 5 months, 19 days ago
| I had a camera and, whenever I photographed people, they came out looking bald-headed...it was then I realised that I was using Kojak film. | |
Joke by stalejoker, in Jokes with no home > Puns - Tagged puns , goat , water melon , kojak - Current Score: 20 - Added: 5 months, 18 days ago
| What's the quickest way to get a Muslim woman pregnant? Dress her up as a goat! | |
Joke by GIZZARD, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged pregnant , muslim , goat , dress - Current Score: 20 - Added: 6 months, 15 days ago
| An Arab was walking his goat in the desert alone, when he had the urge to have sex. As there was no one around, he tried to have sex with his goat, but the goat ran from him as soon as he could do anything. He soon caught up to it and tried another several times but the goat kept on running away so he soon gave up. About 20 minutes later the man came across three beautiful woman standing next to a broken down car. One of the woman said to him, "can you please help fix our car, we will do anything to repay you." Seeing that he knew quite a bit about cars, he agreed to do it. When he finished the woman asked, "What can we do for you?", The Arab said, "well, I'm feeling very horny so you couldn't by any chance......help me hold down that goat?" | |
Joke by The Wolf, in Religion and racism > indian - Tagged arab , goat , sex , woman - Current Score: 19 - Added: 5 months, 22 days ago
| A man knocks on the door of a house a little boy answers. Man says "is your mummy in?" Boy replies "yeah, but she's out in the garden shagging a goat." "I beg your pardon!" the shocked man replies. "Doesn't it bother you that your mum is shagging a goat!?" Boy replies "Naaaaaaaah" | |
Joke by pally76, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged sex , goat , mummy - Current Score: 0 - Added: 7 months, 5 days ago
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