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| When I was younger my Grandma used to rub lard into my Grandpa's back when he was ill. He went down hill fast after that |    |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Jokes with no home > grandma - Tagged grandma , grandpa , lard , ill - Current Score: 73 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A young lad and his grandpa go fishing one day. They set up next to the river and sit back in their camping chairs waiting for the fish to start to bite. After a while the grandpa pulls out a pack of cigarettes and lights one up. The kid is really interested and asks his grandpa if he can have one. Grandpa turns to the kid and says 'can you touch your arsehole with your penis?'. The boy replies that he can't. 'Well' says Grandpa, 'then you're not old enough yet'. Another hour or so goes by and then Grandpa pulls out a can of beer. Again the boy is interested and asks if he could have some. The Grandpa repeats his earlier question and says that he isn't old enough yet. A little while later the boy opens his tackle box and takes out a packet of sweets. Grandpa looks over and thinks that he would like one. 'Can I have one of your sweets son?' The Kid looks at Grandpa and says to him, 'can you touch your arsehole with your penis?'. 'I most certainly can!' says Grandpa. To which the boy replies, 'well then go fuck yourself you old bastard'. | |
Joke by smokey, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged old people , grandpa - Current Score: 25 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Grandma and Grandpa were watching a healing service on the television. The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed to go to their television set, place one hand on the TV and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed. Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain. Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch. Grandma scowled at him and said, "I guess you just don't get it. The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not raise the dead." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Erections - Tagged grandma , grandpa , crotch , pain - Current Score: 15 - Added: 10 months, 15 days ago
| My Grandpa used to say that every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. That's just fucking great, he's now 85 and going to spend an extra 5 months in a nursing home at £2,000 per month. | |
Joke by bawbag, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged grandpa , nursing , home , jogging - Current Score: 9 - Added: 3 months, 20 days ago
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