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| Little Johnny walks into his parents bedroom to find his Dad giving his Mum one. His Dad smirks and throws a pillow at the door saying, "Get outta here, you little shit!" A couple of hours later Dad hears a whole lot of commotion coming from little Johnny's bedroom. He goes up to find little Johnny giving his Grandma a right royal seeing to. Little Johnny smiles, "It's not so fucking funny when it's YOUR mum, is it?" |    |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged little johnny , granny - Current Score: 759 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Boy asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labeled 'LSD'?" Granny replies, "Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!" | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged lsd , drugs , granny , hallucinations - Current Score: 276 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A woman and a baby are in a doctor's surgery, where the doctor is concerned about the baby's weight. "Is he bottle or breastfed?" asks the doctor. The woman replies, "breast". With that, the doctor orders her to strip to her waist so he can examine her breasts. After pinching her nipples and sucking and rubbing both of her breasts for some time the doctor says, "No wonder the baby is under weight - you have no milk!" The woman replies, "I know, I'm his Nan - but I'm glad I came." | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Breast feeding - Tagged breast feeding , granny , doctor - Current Score: 182 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| My old nan is getting a bit doddery. I went to see her last week, and as soon as I walked in she said, "oh Arthur! Is it you?" I said, "no, nan, grandad died 20 years ago. It's me, bleary." She carried on: "Oh Arthur, how I've missed you so!" "Nan! Grandad is dead! I'm your grandson!" "Come over here, so I can give you a kiss" "I'm not him you daft bitch!" "And then, bend me over the kitchen table and throw one into me, the way you used to when we were youngsters." "...Oh Agnes, I've missed you so much!" | |
Joke by bleary, in Sex and shit > Granny Shagger - Tagged granny , grandmother , grandad , senile , mistaken identity , biddy fiddler - Current Score: 148 - Added: 2 months, 26 days ago
| A man walks into a pub and finds a jar full of money on the counter. He asks the landlord what its for. The landlord replies every night we have a contest that you have to complete three tasks to win all the money in the jar. The man asks what are the tasks First the landlord points to a six foot twenty stone bouncer on the door. You see that bouncer over there? You have to go over and take him out with one punch. Then, well, theres our alsatian out the back. He's had a sore tooth for the last month and all you have to do is pull it out. Finally, my gran is upstairs. She's 80 and hasnt had sex for twenty years. You have to go and satisfy her every desire, but you have to put down ten pounds to play. Later after plenty of drinks, the man staggers up to the counter, slaps down a ten pound note and says right Im in. He staggers over to the bouncer and swings. One punch and hes out cold. Then he staggers out the back and for the next ten minutes all that can be heard is the sound of snarling, yelling. grunting, swearing and finally yelping. Then the man staggers back in, clothes in tatters, covered in blood, goes over to the landlord and says right wheres the granny with the sore tooth. | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Drunken - Tagged granny , alsatian , pub , drunk , foot - Current Score: 112 - Added: 6 months, 28 days ago
| Don't you hate it when you're driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick your cigarette out the window, and you drive for a couple more miles, and you smell something funny, and you look over into the back seat, and sure enough............ Grandma's fingering herself again! | |
Joke by v1nny69, in Sex and shit > Masturbation - Tagged granny , fingering , smoking - Current Score: 85 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
| I still remember the last thing that my old grandmother said to me... 'What the fuck are you doing with that hammer?'! | |
Joke by Katherine Boyle, in Illness and mortality > Ghosts - Tagged granny , grandmother , hammer , smells of wee - Current Score: 81 - Added: 1 year ago
| Two old ladies are having a cigarette outside the old folks home and it starts to rain. One of them suddenly pulls a condom out of her handbag, unravels it and puts it over the cigarette so it doesn't get wet. "Ooh, what's that, Betty?" the other asks. "It's called a condom, they sell them at the chemist's dear," she answers. So the other goes to the chemist's and, when asked for a condom by such an elderly lady and seeing an opportunity for mirth, the young oik behind the counter smirks and asks, "so what would you like, a ribbed one, a French tickler, flavoured?" "Oh, I don't mind, dear, as long as it fits a Camel." | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Granny Shagger - Tagged granny , smoking , camel - Current Score: 73 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Why do old people always have the heating on full blast even in summertime? Went to see my granny yesterday and sure enough it must have been 90 degrees in her house. The poor old dear was dripping sweat. Mind you, at least I didn't have to lube her up... | |
Joke by ItchyAnus, in Sex and shit > Granny Shagger - Tagged granny , lube , old people - Current Score: 68 - Added: 3 months ago
| I was driving on the motorway last week when I noticed a sign that said "Turnoff - 500 metres". Sure enough, 500 metres later, on the side of the road was my Granny with no knickers, lifting up her dress. | |
Joke by poosmellsyucky, in Jokes with no home > Grandma - Tagged granny , knickers , turnoff - Current Score: 68 - Added: 9 months ago
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