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| A man walks into a pub with his monkey. He orders a pint and sits down to drink it. While he`s sitting at the bar, his monkey is out of control. It jumps up on the pool table and eats the cue ball. The landlord runs up to the man and says, "Did you see what your stupid monkey just did?" "No, what did the stupid fucker do this time?" says the man. "He just ate the cue ball!" shouts the landlord. "I hope it kills the stupid bastard," says the man. About two weeks later the man comes back to the pub with his monkey. While he`s drinking at the bar his monkey is again out of control. The monkey finds a grape at the bar picks it up, sticks it up his arse and then pulls it out and eats it. The landlord having seen this asks the man, "Did you see what your sick monkey just did?" "No," says the man. "He just stuck a grape up his arse and ate it," the landlord tells him. "Well, what do you expect?" asks the man. "Since that pool ball he measures everything first!" |    |
Joke by sick puppy, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged monkey , pool ball , pub , grape , arse , bar - Current Score: 156 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| What have a pussy and a grape both got in common? The best ones squirt when you eat them. | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > camping - Tagged cunt , grape - Current Score: 62 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Two men are shipwrecked and manage to make it onto an uncharted island where they are approached by a large group of cannibals who can amazingly speak English. The cannibals tell them that they have a chance to live on this island without being eaten so long as they pass the "Ordeal of Fruit", the surviors accept the challenge with little pondering and the Cannibals send the pair off to individually collect one hundred pieces of fruit each and then report back to them. The first survivor returns with one hundred grapes and cannibals instruct him to shove each grape into his anus without wincing or laughing or he will be killed on the spot. However just as the first grape reaches his butt hole he bursts out laughing. The cannibals ask why he is laughing and he replies "I'm sorry, it's just that my friend is collecting pineapples!" | |
Joke by D dude, in Jokes with no home > Cannibals - Tagged cannibal , ship wreck , grape , pineapple , fruit - Current Score: 49 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
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