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| Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls |    |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Illness and mortality > Midget - Tagged midget , laugh , balls , run , grass - Current Score: 71 - Added: 9 months ago
| This married couple have just been to a fancy dress party and they are dressed in a cow costume with the the bloke in the front and the woman in the back. They cross over a field and the woman hears running footsteps, then she shrieks "oh my god, its a bull coming, what shall we do?" The bloke says "I'm going to eat some grass...you better fuckin' brace yourself" | |
Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Fancy Dress - Tagged cow , bull , field , bloke , grass , costume , fancy dress party - Current Score: 41 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What's the difference between Princess Diana and a beautiful bed of flowers? About six foot | |
Joke by staffer, in Celebrity and news events > Diana - Tagged foot , diana , grass , difference - Current Score: 33 - Added: 4 months ago
| Was walking past our local drug rehab centre the other day. Quite amusingly, there's a sign outside that says "KEEP OFF THE GRASS" | |
Joke by RobBWFC, in Jokes with no home > Drugs - Tagged drugs , grass , weed - Current Score: 28 - Added: 2 months, 30 days ago
| I've just bought some of that new Emo turf from B&Q. This grass will cut itself. | |
Joke by bawbag, in Jokes with no home > Emo - Tagged emo , grass , cut - Current Score: 21 - Added: 1 month ago
| I was in my local park earlier on and i saw a keep off the grass sign! I couldn't help but think... how did it get there. | |
Joke by vampy-dav, in Jokes with no home > keep off the grass - Tagged grass - Current Score: 14 - Added: 2 months ago
| Time saving gardening tip: If you water your grass with beer, it will come up half cut! | |
Joke by geebee, in Jokes with no home > Garden - Tagged grass , cut , beer - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 month ago
| Why can't Kiwi blokes take their girlfriends to the rugby? They eat all the grass. | |
Joke by immortalshadow666, in Religion and racism > Kiwis - Tagged kiwi , girlfriend , rugby , grass - Current Score: 4 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| A rabbit one day managed to break free from a laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. "WOW! This is great," he thought. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight: lots if other bunny rabbits - all free and nibbling at the lush green grass. "Hey," he called out. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory over there and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?" "Yes. Come and join us, " they all cried out. Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. It tasted so good. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked. "Well," one of them said, "ya see that field over there? Its got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them." This he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour gorging on the most succulent carrots he had ever tasted. "They are wonderful" he told his new friends. Much later, he asked them again: "What else do you do?" "Ya see that field there in the distance?" replied the wild rabbit. "Its got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well". The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned some hours later, completely full of lettuce. "Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked. One of the other rabbits came close to him and spoke softly: "There is one other thing you must try." Pointing to a bunch of rabbits in the far corner of the field, he said "They're girl rabbits. We fuck them. Go and try it." Well, our friend spent the rest of the afternoon screwing his little heart out until, completely knackered, he staggered back to his male friends. "That was fantastic," he panted. "So are you going to live with us then?" one of the asked. "I'm sorry. I had a great time. Believe me, but I can't". The wild rabbits all stared at him in amazement. "Why? We thought you liked it here." "I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the laboratory.... I'm dying for a smoke!" | |
Joke by qweasd, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged rabbit , grass , shag , smoke , laboratory , sexy rabbits in sexy lingerie - Current Score: 0 - Added: 4 days ago
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