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| What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green Paint. |    |
Joke by DDJ, in Jokes with no home > One Liners - Tagged one-liners , paint , yellow , green - Current Score: 303 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Apparently, the Beijing Olympics will be the 'Greenest' ever. I'm not sure about that, but they'll definitely be the yellowest....... | |
Joke by rs79, in Celebrity and news events > Olympics - Tagged green , yellow , slimey asian dog eaters - Current Score: 112 - Added: 3 months, 28 days ago
| Two men are at work in the morgue. One of them turns to the other and says, "You should have seen this woman they brought in last week. They pulled her out of the water after she'd been there for three weeks. Man, I'm tellin' you, her clit was just like a pickle." "What," the other asks. "Green?". "No," says the first. "A bit sour." | |
Joke by funkyfrog, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged necrophilia , clit , morgue , death , water , men , green , taste , lick , sour , pickle , dead - Current Score: 111 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. "What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the day you spent with your family." "It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ." "I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed. "So I take It your day of recreation was not relaxing?" "Far from it,"snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!" "Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. "You must tell me all about it!" "Well, we were on the fifth tee... and this hole is a monster, Mother - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green... and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted... and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee!" "Oh my !" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!" "No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!" "Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathised Mother. "But I didn't, Mother Superior!" sobbed the Sister. "And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!" "So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing smile. "Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!" Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said... "You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?" | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Religion and racism > Nuns - Tagged sister , christ , mother superior , golf , lord , ball , putt , cursed , green , god - Current Score: 90 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| What's green and melts in your mouth? A leper's cock! | |
Joke by ht, in Illness and mortality > Leper - Tagged leper , green , oral sex , cock - Current Score: 63 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Whats Green and can't be trusted? Sickipedia's duplication checker | |
Joke by lashley, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged green , sickipedia duplication - Current Score: 50 - Added: 1 month, 9 days ago
| I'm no racist, as far as I'm concerned everyone is green. It's just those dark green fuckers I can't stand. | |
Joke by barrythebeast, in Religion and racism > Nigger - Tagged racist , racism , green - Current Score: 25 - Added: 1 month, 30 days ago
| They're cutting down a load of trees in a forest near me to make way for a bypass. Loads of tree protesters have moved in and are living in tree houses. Fucking hypocrites! Where do they think the wood for their tree houses comes from? | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Jokes with no home > Green protesters - Tagged green protesters , green , tree protesters - Current Score: 15 - Added: 3 months, 26 days ago
| Glasgow has been named as the greenest city in the UK after it exceeded its recycling targets by processing 85% of the city's waste. Local councillors said that the turning point was when they started setting up needle exchanges across the city. | |
Joke by Fles, in Religion and racism > Drugs - Tagged green , glasgow , recycle , needle , drugs - Current Score: 10 - Added: 3 months ago
| What's green and invisible? This lettuce. | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > General - Tagged vegetables , green , stupid - Current Score: 5 - Added: 8 months, 13 days ago
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