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| When asked about newspaper allegations that Guy Ritchie hadn't had sex with Madonna for 18 months, Guy replied, "Well, do you fucking blame me? After 9 years of marriage, my arsehole can't take anymore." |    |
Joke by billybawsacks, in Celebrity and news events > Madonna - Tagged madonna , guy , split , sex , manish , marriage - Current Score: 177 - Added: 1 month, 15 days ago
| A guy returns home from the Doctor. His mate asks, "Why are you looking so miserable?" The guy replies, "The doctor says I have to take one of these tablets every day for the rest of my life." His mate adds, "That's not too bad." The guy says, "It is - he's only given me four tablets." | |
Joke by kirbvinc, in Illness and mortality > Doctor - Tagged doctor , tablets , mate , guy - Current Score: 137 - Added: 6 months, 5 days ago
| A guy walks into a pub and says 'Give me six double whiskies'. The barman lines them up and the guy picks up each one and downs them. Then he says 'I really shouldn't do that with what I've got.' The barman says 'Why, what have you got?' The guy replies '50p'. | |
Joke by cc1957, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged 50p , guy , pub , six - Current Score: 99 - Added: 1 year ago
| One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early." | |
Joke by trenchcoat, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged naked , guy , jogging , shagging , my , wife - Current Score: 68 - Added: 7 months, 27 days ago
| Some people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My name is Tony, and I am a S-N-A-G" Another guy says, "What's that ?" Tony says, "That means I am a Single, New Age Guy." Another guy says, "My name is Gary, and I am a D-I-N-K." A girl at the bar asks, "What's that ?" He says, "That means I am a Double Income, No Kids." A woman says, "That's nice. My name is Shirley, and I am a W-I-F-E." Tony says, "A W-I-F-E ? What's a W-I-F-E ?" She says, "Oh you know, that means, "Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc." | |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged bar , guy , woman - Current Score: 63 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear." | |
Joke by red-devil-nick, in Sex and shit > Singles - Tagged guy , girl , sex , magic , disapear - Current Score: 45 - Added: 1 year ago
| I stopped a black guy from committing suicide in front of a train. I pushed him before he could jump. | |
Joke by justincider, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged guy , suicide , train , pushed , jump - Current Score: 31 - Added: 2 months, 24 days ago
| A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a fuckin' checking account" To which the lady replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?" "Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fuckin' checking account right now." "Sir, I'm sorry but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank!" The teller left the window and went over to the bank manager and told him about her situation. They both returned and the manager asked, "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn problem," the man said, "I just won 50 million in the lottery and I want to open a fuckin' checking account in this damn bank!" "I see sir," the manager said, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?" | |
Joke by Hintonian, in Jokes with no home > Banker - Tagged bank , guy , teller , account , rude , money - Current Score: 24 - Added: 4 months, 29 days ago
| Did you hear about the gay guy taking a piss.... He looked at the other guy to his right and saw a nicotine patch on his cock. He asked "Does it work"? "Yep," replied the guy, "I'm down to two butts a day." | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged gay , poof , guy , piss , day , taking - Current Score: 22 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I was in Lourdes last week. Madonna was furious. | |
Joke by hohohoimabadmofo, in Celebrity and news events > Madonna - Tagged lourdes , madonna , guy , paedophillia - Current Score: 22 - Added: 1 month, 14 days ago
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