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Browsing tag: hair
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I told my wife I don't want her to shave her body hair any more, I prefer her to let it "grow natural"

She went fucking berserk.

I had no idea chemotherapy made you such a bitch.
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Joke by storyteller, in Illness and mortality > Cancer - Tagged cancer , hair , haircut , bitch , chemotherapy , shave , pubes , nature , women , wife , style  - Current Score: 235 - Added: 4 weeks ago

A little girl goes to the barbers with her dad and stands next to the chair eating a cake while her dad gets his hair cut.

The Barber smiles at her and says "You're gonna get hair on your muffin."

"I know" she says, "I'm gonna get tits too"
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Joke by chelsea_steve, in Sex and shit > pubes - Tagged tits , pubes , puberty , hair  - Current Score: 155 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago

Who is the Hindu Goddess of Hair?

Kondishna
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Joke by kyle__1995, in Jokes with no home > Racism - Tagged hair , hindu , racist  - Current Score: 84 - Added: 5 months ago

A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice.

The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why.

The supervisor is puzzled by this and says, "what's wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "he's a midget."
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Joke by ram1us, in Illness and mortality > Midget - Tagged midget , sexual harrassment , hair  - Current Score: 76 - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago

Why don't Muslims get their hair washed?

Because they get their brains washed instead
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Joke by Gobshite, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged muslim , brains , hair , dirty fuckers  - Current Score: 69 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

Scientists in Sweden have announced that they have found the longest hair on the human body, it runs from your arse to your eyelash.
Oh come on! It doesn't take a bloody scientist to figure that out, everyone knows that if you pull a hair out of your arse, it makes your fuckin' eyes water.
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Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Science - Tagged arse , hair , lash , scientists , sweden , eyes , water  - Current Score: 52 - Added: 3 months ago

A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately.

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?", she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no," the man replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I’m afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message,"
she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "There is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
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Joke by McLOVIN, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged pub , hair , man , manager , hands , message , face  - Current Score: 40 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

A hotel porter is looking through the keyhole of the honeymoon suite.
"Look at her, she's enjoying that," he whispered to a passing maid.
She takes a peek.
"Wow, I wish my boyfriend did that to me more," she whispered back.
A waiter hears and comes to join in the fun. He has a quick look.
"Incredible," he says, "and last night he had the nerve to complain about a hair in his soup..."
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Joke by staffer, in Sex and shit > Honeymoon - Tagged hair , complain , waiter , maid , honeymoon , keyhole  - Current Score: 36 - Added: 7 months ago

How long is a hair on a rabbit's back?

About 10 minutes.
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Joke by manning79, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged rabbit , hair , minutes , back  - Current Score: 32 - Added: 1 year ago

When cheating on your wife or girlfriend - make sure that they both have the same length and colour hair so when one asks "who's hair is this?", you can simply say - "It's yours you balding twat".I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by DanMan, in Sex and shit > cheating - Tagged cheating , wife , hair  - Current Score: 32 - Added: 4 months ago

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