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| What's long and hard and makes women groan? An Ironing Board. |    |
Joke by DDJ, in Jokes with no home > random - Tagged women , ironing , hard , iron - Current Score: 589 - Added: 9 months, 20 days ago
| What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? My cock while I'm doing it. | |
Joke by BigFatPaulie, in Illness and mortality > Dead Babies - Tagged dead babies , dead baby , dead , baby , babies , nail , nailed , nailing , tree , hard , harder , cock - Current Score: 133 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and, as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436." | |
Joke by Ekim, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged hard , sex , breast , hotel - Current Score: 115 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| What's 18 inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? Cot death. | |
Joke by caliban, in Illness and mortality > Dead Babies - Tagged inch , inches , stiff , hard , scream , night , cry , baby , babies , women , woman , cot death , cot , dead , death - Current Score: 99 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| This Indian bloke walks into this supermarket and ask the attendant what kind of toilet paper they have for sale. The attendant shows him three brands. The first brand is called Kleenex and costs two pounds for two rolls, the second brand is Sorbent and costs one pound for two rolls and the third brand is a no name brand and costs fifty pence for five rolls. The Indian says, "Five rolls for fifty pence, that is cheap - think of the Vindaloos I can have." So the Indian buys the no name toilet paper and leaves. The next day he returns to the store and finds the attendant and says to him, "I still have got four toilet rolls left, but I have found a name for your toilet roll." The attendant looked confused when he said that and asked him to explain. The Indian says, "You should call it John Wayne toilet paper!" The attendant said, "Why John Wayne?" And the Indian replies, "Because it's rough, tough and takes no shit from an Indian! | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged indian , toilet roll , john wayne , kleenex , rough , hard , shit , supermarket - Current Score: 92 - Added: 6 months, 11 days ago
| What's long, hard and hurts gypsies? My Shovel... | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Gypsy - Tagged gypsy , shovel , long , hard , acne , spots - Current Score: 87 - Added: 8 months, 23 days ago
| My local's rough as anything. I went to the pub quiz the other night. First question was, "What the fuck are you looking at?" | |
Joke by Gaiden, in Jokes with no home > Pub - Tagged pub , hard , glasgow , quiz , jack dee - Current Score: 55 - Added: 7 months, 5 days ago
| Two eggs got married. On the wedding night, Mr Egg is lying in bed, when out of the bathroom comes Mrs Egg. She says, "I've just slipped into something a bit more comfortable", she is wearing a see-through bra and panties. Upon seeing this, Mr Egg says, "Right, I'd better go and slip into something more comfy too." When he comes out of the bathroom he is wearing a crash helmet. Mrs Egg says, "What the fuck are you wearing a stupid crash helmet for?" And Mr Egg says, "The last time I was this hard, some bastard hit me over the head with a fucking spoon." | |
Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Eggs - Tagged egg , mr , mrs , spoon , hard , crash helmet - Current Score: 54 - Added: 6 months ago
| What's the difference between light and hard? My daughter gets some sleep when I've got a light on. | |
Joke by Gash TL, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged paedo , light , hard - Current Score: 54 - Added: 3 months, 4 days ago
| Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? Apparently they make you look hard. | |
Joke by Randall, in Sex and shit > Viagra - Tagged viagra , eyes , look , hard - Current Score: 53 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
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