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| Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and Sam says to Becky, "Becky, I was wondering... Have you ever cheated on me?" Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..." "Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..." "Well, all right, three times..." "Three, hmmm, well when were they?" "Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start that business on your own and no bank would give you a loan... Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked..." "Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me.... So when was number two?" "Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you... Then remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here to do the surgery himself and then you were in good shape again..." "I can't believe it!! Becky, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life... I couldn't have a more wonderful wife... all right then, when was number three?" "Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the fishing club .... And you were ten votes short...." |    |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged anniversary , sex , health , affairs , cheating - Current Score: 35 - Added: 5 months ago
| Smoking seriously harms you and others around you. Smoking for a laugh is fine. | |
Joke by Storyteller, in Jokes with no home > Smoking - Tagged smoking , cancer , warning , health , cigarettes , packet , moob - Current Score: 34 - Added: 4 months ago
| I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctors permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down and perspired for an hour, but by the time I got my fucking leotard on, the class had ended. | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Jokes with no home > Exercise - Tagged health , fitnees , aerobics , leotard - Current Score: 17 - Added: 1 month ago
| Answered the door last night to a 6ft beetle. It started smacking me around the head and telling me to "fuck off". Apparently there's a nasty bug going round... | |
Joke by geordieboi, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged bug , beetle , health - Current Score: 6 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| My Grandad always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day, while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my Grandad. | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Jokes with no home > families - Tagged grandad , health , money - Current Score: 6 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| I remember the first time I walked through the door of a brothel. But to be honest, I wouldn’t recommend it- the risks to your health are too great. So next time I’m going to ask then to open it first. | |
Joke by rawmarsh, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged brothel , prostitue , sex , door , health - Current Score: -4 - Added: 1 month ago
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