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| After her recent rant on GMTV, a psychologist said that Heather Mills is clearly unbalanced. Sir Paul phoned in and said that a couple of beermats under her left leg does the trick. |    |
Joke by chelsea_steve, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged mccartney , heather mills , wooden leg , mucca , jonathan ross - Current Score: 301 - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago
| The math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is: After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million. Assuming he banged her every night during their 5 year relationship (and, being married men, we all know THAT doesn't happen), it ends up costing him $26,849 per lay, not counting attorney's fees and court costs. On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer's call girl Kristen charges $4,000 an hour. Crazy, right? But... Had Paul McCartney employed Kristen for 5 years, he would've paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years (a savings of $41+million). Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no begging, no coaxing, never a headache, wide open menu, ability to put BOTH legs around you, no bitching and complaining or "to do" lists. Best of all, she leaves when you're done, and comes back the next day, ready for another round. All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees. Is it just me, or is it better to rent? | |
Joke by kidneykutter, in Celebrity and news events > Paul McCartney - Tagged heather mills , paul mccartney - Current Score: 229 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Heather Mills isn't a complete bitch... some bits are missing | |
Joke by marshallscopegift, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged leg , heather mills , bitch - Current Score: 204 - Added: 8 months ago
| Paul McCartney bought his wife a new artificial leg for Christmas. It wasn't her main present, it was just a stocking filler. | |
Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > The Beatles - Tagged christmas , leg , stocking , heather mills , paul mccartney - Current Score: 192 - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago
| My gran always gets me socks for my birthday and Christmas. She says, "You can never have too many socks, my love". You can if you're Heather Mills. | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged christmas , birthday , heather mills , gran , socks - Current Score: 163 - Added: 9 months ago
| What do you call a dog with one leg? Heather. | |
Joke by BruceWillis, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged leg , dog , heather mills , one legged bint - Current Score: 155 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Paul McCartney should consider himself lucky... In olden times, most people who found themselves being robbed by someone with one leg would have had to walk the plank as well! | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills - Current Score: 153 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Paul McCartney has bought his wife a plane for Christmas. But she'll still use a razor on the other leg. | |
Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > The Beatles - Tagged christmas , leg , plane , heather mills , paul mccartney , razor - Current Score: 116 - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago
| I don't know why the fuck Heather Mills campaigns against landmines. After all, she's only half as much at risk from them. | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills - Current Score: 109 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| In bingo slang, the number eleven is referred to as 'Legs Eleven'. Does that mean that the number one is referred to as 'Heather Mills'? | |
Joke by jackcarter, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills - Current Score: 109 - Added: 1 year ago
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