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| What's the difference between Heather Mills and a Venus fly-trap? A Venus fly-trap is a plant. Heather Mills is a cunt. |    |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills , botany , cunt - Current Score: 269 - Added: 5 months ago
| After her recent rant on GMTV, a psychologist said that Heather Mills is clearly unbalanced. Sir Paul phoned in and said that a couple of beermats under her left leg does the trick. | |
Joke by chelsea_steve, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills , mucca , mccartney , wooden leg , jonathan ross - Current Score: 219 - Added: 9 months ago
| What do you call a dog with one leg? Heather. | |
Joke by BruceWillis, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills , dog , leg , one legged bint - Current Score: 138 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago
| The math on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is: After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million. Assuming he banged her every night during their 5 year relationship (and, being married men, we all know THAT doesn't happen), it ends up costing him $26,849 per lay, not counting attorney's fees and court costs. On the other hand, Elliot Spitzer's call girl Kristen charges $4,000 an hour. Crazy, right? But... Had Paul McCartney employed Kristen for 5 years, he would've paid $7.3 million for an hour of sex every night for 5 years (a savings of $41+million). Value-added benefits are: a 22 year old hot babe, no begging, no coaxing, never a headache, wide open menu, ability to put BOTH legs around you, no bitching and complaining or "to do" lists. Best of all, she leaves when you're done, and comes back the next day, ready for another round. All at 1/7th the cost, with no legal fees. Is it just me, or is it better to rent? | |
Joke by kidneykutter, in Celebrity and news events > Paul McCartney - Tagged heather mills , paul mccartney - Current Score: 136 - Added: 3 months ago
| Paul McCartney should consider himself lucky... In olden times, most people who found themselves being robbed by someone with one leg would have had to walk the plank as well! | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills - Current Score: 130 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago
| In bingo slang, the number eleven is referred to as 'Legs Eleven'. Does that mean that the number one is referred to as 'Heather Mills'? | |
Joke by jackcarter, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills - Current Score: 99 - Added: 1 month ago
| I don't know why the fuck Heather Mills campaigns against landmines. After all, she's only half as much at risk from them. | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills - Current Score: 87 - Added: 5 months ago
| I can see that American scientists have been able to make a human finger grow. All they need to do now is grow one leg and a complete cunt and they will have a clone of Heather Mills. | |
Joke by RevvyB, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills , revvyb , finger - Current Score: 86 - Added: 3 months ago
| Heather Mills has been spotted combing the beach in Arbroath for a new leg ....... | |
Joke by Doodlebug, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills - Current Score: 83 - Added: 4 months ago
| What's the difference between Linda McCartney and Heather Mills? Linda McCartney was a Vegetarian who didn't believe in eating meat... And Heather Mills is a self-opinionated one legged selfish ugly whore who needs a bullet to the head. | |
Joke by captain slow, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills , dead , whore , bullet , bitch - Current Score: 73 - Added: 5 months ago
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