Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Showing all jokes.
| "Why men are not agony aunts" ***** Dear Neville, I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbour lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him any more. Can you please help? Sincerely, Mrs. Sheila Usk Dear Sheila, A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps. Neville |    |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Jokes with no home > Advice - Tagged agony aunt , help , simple - Current Score: 356 - Added: 7 months, 23 days ago
| I used to think I had massive dick, as when ever I was fucking a girl they would always scream... ...although it was normally for help. | |
Joke by maxmoore, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged rape , rapist , big dick , help , rape alarm , maxmoore - Current Score: 112 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
| I bought a self-help tape the other day. It was called "How to handle disappointment." When I opened the box, it was empty. | |
Joke by oddball_o, in Jokes with no home > Ironic - Tagged irony , dissapointment , self , help , tape , box , empty - Current Score: 105 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church, sits down in a confessional box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knockin' mate, there's no paper in this one either." | |
Joke by D dude, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged priest , drunk , shit , help - Current Score: 89 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| The Americans have only ever got one thing right in life How to make a burger,fries & large coke Must have had help from the British on this one | |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > McDonalds - Tagged mcdonalds , burger , fries , coke , america , british , help - Current Score: 13 - Added: 3 months, 14 days ago
| There was a fire in the IT department at work last week. We knew something was wrong when we heard them shouting, "F1! F1!" | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > IT - Tagged it , fire , help - Current Score: 12 - Added: 5 months, 22 days ago
MICK THE MAG got buried to -5. Reveal Joke
Showing all jokes.
Server: Custurd in 0.95s using 9 queries. She's 3.34% angry.
Sickipedia v2.1 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel