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| Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy in Britain, my work has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPEd can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPEd and SHAFTed will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPEd once, SHAFTed twice and SCREWed as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPEd can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTed or SCREWed any further by management. Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this anomaly to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. |    |
Joke by Gash TL, in Jokes with no home > Work - Tagged new rules , shit , rape , screw , shaft , herpes , aids - Current Score: 130 - Added: 1 week ago
| An Italian immigrant was being given a medical. "Any history of illness in the family?" "Yes, my Grandfather died of herpes." "That's strange, it's not normally a fatal disease." "It is if you give it to Al Capone's wife." | |
Joke by marley, in Illness and mortality > Venereal Disease - Tagged herpes , al capone - Current Score: 28 - Added: 4 months, 18 days ago
| You've heard the tale of Robin Hood, And how he did poor people good, but there's more to this old story, than Sherwood Forest's Pride and Glory. At night when all the robbing was done, the merry men would have some fun, in fact it would be fair to say, The Merry men were rather gay. As Little John starts to unwind, Robin takes him from behind. As they frolic in the grass, Robin rams it up his ass. One night when they were all at play, a pretty maiden came their way, she sauntered up to Friar Tuck, and said, "I'm Marion, wanna fuck?" Tuck could not believe his ears, "She wants a shag off us old queers!" When he recovered from his shock, Robin whipped out his fat cock. Marion's clothes were off in a flash, The merry men all had her gash, They satisfied her every whim, and shot their man-fat up her quim. When all was done she spoke a rhyme, "Thank you boys for the lovely time, But for your pleasure you must pay, I've got herpes; have a nice day." "Now listen here," said Friar Tuck, "We really couldn't give a fuck, we've all got AIDS, so who's fucked now, Have a nice day, you stupid cow." | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Sexual Diseases - Tagged robin hood , aids , herpes , orgy , vd , queer , homo , fuck , faggot - Current Score: 17 - Added: 8 months, 19 days ago
| What the difference between true love and herpes? Herpes lasts forever. | |
Joke by staffer, in Illness and mortality > Disease - Tagged herpes , love , difference , true - Current Score: 14 - Added: 2 months, 5 days ago
| What kind of STDs can birds catch? Chirpies. It's a canareal disease and is sometimes untweetable. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged stds , birds , animals , herpes - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| My mate has got syphilis, AIDS, herpes and gonorrhea. Doctor's has diagnosed him as just an 'incurable romantic'. | |
Joke by staffer, in Illness and mortality > Disease - Tagged incurable , romantic , doctors , aids , herpes - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 month, 29 days ago
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