Two country boys sat in the pub and the first one said: “see that Miranda, farmer Jones’s daughter”

“Yes”

“Well she takes a carrot down to the bottom field rams it in a hole in the fence and fucks it.” He said: “You haven’t had a fuck for ages, why don’t you go down and substitute your cock for the carrot?”

Second one said: “I will”

Next day, the second one came to the pub in agony.
First one said: “wha [...]

Two country boys sat in the pub and the first one said: “see that Miranda, farmer Jones’s daughter”

“Yes”

“Well she takes a carrot down to the bottom field rams it in a hole in the fence and fucks it.” He said: “You haven’t had a fuck for ages, why don’t you go down and substitute your cock for the carrot?”

Second one said: “I will”

Next day, the second one came to the pub in agony.
First one said: “what’s wrong with you?”

“I did what you said. I went down to the bottom field and substituted my cock for the carrot”

“What happened?”

“You could have told me she fucking peels it”