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| I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?" I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off." |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged blacksmith , donkey , horse - Current Score: 1392 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun. Ventriloquist: "G'day bloke! Good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?" Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie." Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?" Dog: "Doin' alright." The Kiwi gets a look of extreme shock on his face. Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?", pointing at the Kiwi. Dog: "Yep." Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play." The Kiwis expression of disbelief doesn't change. Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think." Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool." The Kiwi gets even more shocked. Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" Horse: "Yep." Ventriloquist: "How's he treat you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements." Now the Kiwi has a look of total amazement on his face. Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" To which the Kiwi replied, "The sheep's a liar." | |
Joke by immortalshadow666, in Religion and racism > Kiwis - Tagged kiwi , aussie , horse , sheep , dog , ventriloquist - Current Score: 190 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A horse walks into a bar, The barman asks, "why the long face?" To which the horse replies, "I've got AIDS." | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged aids , horse , bar - Current Score: 182 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| What has six legs and a cunt on the middle of its back? A Police horse. | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged police horse , one liner , cunt , police , horse - Current Score: 164 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Some of the grammar on the internet is so bad and trust me it is important. Contemplate how one sentence can change rapidly even by changing a capital letter to a lower case... Ben would always have to help his Uncle Jack off his horse... Ben would always have to help his uncle jack off his horse... | |
Joke by sparkyjcs, in Jokes with no home > Grammar - Tagged grammar , jack , horse , uncle - Current Score: 162 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| My mate put a thousand pounds on a horse. The horse collapsed. | |
Joke by justincider, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged horse , thousand , pounds , collapsed - Current Score: 135 - Added: 2 months, 2 days ago
| On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is Little Johnny on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the Little Johnny, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Little Johnny replies, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. Little Johnny takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring Little Johnny, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." Little Johnny continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top." | |
Joke by Hintonian, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged santa , police , boy , horse , little johnny - Current Score: 133 - Added: 10 months, 3 days ago
| I bought a race horse and decided to call it "MY FACE". Just imagine it running down the home straight with all the women shouting "COME ON MY FACE"!! | |
Joke by leisuresuitlee, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged race , horse , women , come , cum - Current Score: 133 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| What's Black and White and eats like a horse? A zebra. | |
Joke by DumbShit, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged horse , zebra , black - Current Score: 108 - Added: 1 month, 28 days ago
| David Beckham, when not playing football that day, decides to go horse riding. Although he has no previous experience, he skillfully mounts the horse and appears in complete control as the horse gallops along at a steady pace. Victoria watches him admiringly. After a while, David becomes a little too casual and begins to lose his grip in the saddle. He panics and grabs the horse round it's neck and calls for it to stop. Victoria screams and shouts for someone to help. David slips completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground because he is still clutching the horse's neck. David decides his best chance is to leap away, but his foot becomes entangled in the stirrup. David's head is now banging along the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is really starting to panic now, and screams at the top of her voice. Hearing her screams, one of the supermarket security guards comes out of the store and unplugs the horse. | |
Joke by D dude, in Celebrity and news events > David Beckham - Tagged posh , beckham , becks , horse , supermarket - Current Score: 103 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
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