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| I've just bought this Austrian girl's diary off ebay. It's not very interesting, it just says: Monday: Stayed in Tuesday: Stayed in Wednesday: Stayed in... |    |
Joke by albinobob123, in Celebrity and news events > Austrian - Tagged austrian , house - Current Score: 300 - Added: 7 months, 2 days ago
| Ah, the patter of tiny feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. | |
Joke by asdasd, in Illness and mortality > Dwarf - Tagged midget , butler , house - Current Score: 218 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| News from the White House.. George Bush's wallet has gone missing already. | |
Joke by jungleoftramps, in Celebrity and news events > Barack Obama - Tagged wallet , george , bush , white , house - Current Score: 213 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| Mr Khan and Mr Jones live next door to each other in identical houses. Their homes are valued by an estate agent. Mr Khan's house is worth £200,000 - while Mr Jones' is worth £150,000. Mr Jones asks the estate agent, "why this is?" The estate agent replies, "simple: Mr Khan dosen't have a Paki living next door." | |
Joke by IndyKalsey, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged paki , house , money - Current Score: 212 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| In our house HP and Daddie's Sauce aren't the same thing. | |
Joke by nufcdude, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged hp , daddies sauce , house - Current Score: 202 - Added: 2 months, 24 days ago
| Me and my wife are driving along the Motorway doing 55 mph. She looks over at me and says, "I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce." I say nothing but slowly increase the speed to 60 mph. She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much better lover than you." Again I stay quiet and just speed up as my anger increases. She says, "I want the house." I speed up again, and I'm now doing 70 mph. She says, "I want the kids, too." I just keep driving faster and faster, now up to 80mph. She says, "I want the car, the bank account and all the credit cards too." I slowly start to veer toward a concrete bridge pillar as she enquires, "Is there anything you want?" So I respond with, "no thanks, I've got everything I need." She asks, "what's that then?" Just before we hit the wall at 90 mph I say, "I've got the airbag." | |
Joke by staffer, in Sex and shit > Divorce - Tagged airbag , divorce , kids , house , bridge - Current Score: 188 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
| A farmer buys a young rooster to impregnate his chickens. The young rooster struts into the barn and yells to the old rooster, “Get out, old man! This is my barn now!” “Tell you what,” says the old rooster. “I’ll race you around the farm; winner gets all the chicks.” The old rooster takes off toward the front of the house with the young rooster chasing him. The farmer takes one look at the roosters, pulls out his shotgun, and blows the young one away. “Darn it,” says the farmer. “That’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this month!” | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged chickens , gay , man , farmer , shotgun , young , house , rooster - Current Score: 181 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I got into an argument with this thug in the pub. Anyway, I backed away, but as I was leaving he shouted, "I know where you live." I was really worried for a while, but it turned out he works for Royal Mail Parcelforce, so his threat almost certainly isn't true. | |
Joke by bizlop, in Jokes with no home > POST OFFICE - Tagged royal mail , house , threat , parcelforce , fight , pub , thug , viz , viz letters - Current Score: 180 - Added: 5 months, 14 days ago
| A survey shows that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife.... | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Surveys - Tagged kiss , wife , house , goodbye - Current Score: 156 - Added: 2 months, 7 days ago
| I've just sold my house for £250,000.........the council are going to go fucking mental. | |
Joke by garrygwizz, in Celebrity and news events > Credit Crunch - Tagged council , house , mental , gary , glitter - Current Score: 153 - Added: 2 months ago
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