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| A man goes into a gun shop and buys a rifle to go bear hunting. Five minutes into the woods, he spots a huge grizzly, takes aim and fires… and when the smoke clears, bear is gone. As he's puzzling over this, he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and there, towering over him, is the bear. "Well, you took your best shot and missed, so now I'm going to eat you!" The man begs and pleads not to be killed, and the bear thinks about it and says, "I suppose I COULD let you live… if you give me a blow job." So the man does the horrible deed and goes back to the gun shop the following day, walking out with an AK-47. He goes back to the woods, sees the same bear, takes aim and empties the whole clip. The smoke clears, and the bear is gone again. Then there's a tap on the shoulder… "Okay, twice is too much. You missed again, so I'm REALLY going to eat you now." Once again, the man begs and pleads and, after some thought, the bear relinquishes - except that this time the man has to let the bear take him roughly up the arse. Back to the shop and this time he walks out with the biggest thing they've got - an ex-Soviet Army rocket launcher. He returns to the forest, spots the bear, fires up the scope and fires. There's a huge explosion and, when the smoke clears, no bear - just a smoking crater. Grinning with satisfaction, he starts to lower the weapon… …and then there's a tap on the shoulder. With one hand on his hip, the bear cocks his head and says, "You're not really here for the hunting, are you?" |    |
Joke by Bad Horsey, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged bear , hunting , sex - Current Score: 92 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| The husband says to his wife, "You have three choices: you can come hunting with me, you can let me fuck you in the arse or you can give me a blowjob." The wife, not being interested in hunting and not feeling in the mood to be anally probed, opts for the blowjob. While she is down there, doing her best effort, she looks up at her husband and says, "Honey, your dick tastes like shit!" To which the husband replies, "Yeah, the dog didn't want to go hunting either." | |
Joke by drnano, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged blow job , hunting , shit , beastiality - Current Score: 44 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| I don't know if you saw the BBC news yesterday, but apparantly some illegal migrants in a detention centre have escaped and are being hunted. Finally- its good to see that the governement have given us an alternative to fox hunting- and if anything, this will be more fun! | |
Joke by petejtool, in Religion and racism > escaped migrants - Tagged migrants , labour , hunting , fox hunting - Current Score: 33 - Added: 2 months, 17 days ago
| Going into war without France is like........ Well, going hunting without your accordion | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged accordion , hunting , france , war - Current Score: 32 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
| A couple of blondes go on an adventure weekend. The archery and rifle practices go without a glitch, unfortunately they get lost during the hunting activity and are unable to phone for help. After screaming for help, they sit down and wait to be rescued... Eying the weaponry, one of the girls remarks, "didn't the guide say to shoot into the air to attract help if we got lost?" "Great idea," exclaims the other, and grabs the bag of weaponry. After 6 hours and 18 shots later they are still lost. "Do you reckon anyone will find us?" asks the first blonde, fearfully. "I bloody hope so, we've only got 2 arrows left..." says the other. | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > Blondes - Tagged arrows , blonde , shoot , weaponry , hunting - Current Score: 23 - Added: 1 month, 16 days ago
| Two hunters are out in the woods, when suddenly they see a beautiful naked woman bathing in a lake. "What are you doing here?" she asked. "We are looking for wild game." the hunters answered. "Well I'm wild, and I'm game!" she replied with a wink. So the hunters shot her. | |
Joke by Hercules Poirot, in Jokes with no home > Random - Tagged hunting - Current Score: 19 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
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